Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were, "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML
Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML
Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML
Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML
Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML
Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares!" as he walked away, chuckling. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
emirie 21
That's the type of friend I'd want.
DocBastard 40
The weird kids always grow up to be CEOs or chairmen. Or axe murderers.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
singer0421 32
HA at least he's got a sense of humor XD
FlamingColor 30
He could be really cool... you never know he could be the next prodigy in the world
brianax36 14
Or he could just be a cannibal.
Larry01_fml 19
maybe he just has a dark sense of humor
PenguinBitch 44
The kid's a weirdo. A freak to be exact! Right guys?! *looks at own fingers who have smiley faces*
nyellow 6
Spongebob reference!!!!! Good for youuuuuu
lucindalwilliams 10
He mustn't be very good at eating them if they don't stick around..
martin8337 36
Little Hannibal the Cannibal.
jrock9093 18
Great way to make friends, what a fing weirdo scary actually should of punched him sorry op
sweet23_fml 11
why not they get milk, cookies and nap time.
tman1985 9
well....that escalated quickly
skyeyez9 25
Q: What did that weird kid do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his butt.
denwing82 4
Responding in that manner is her mechanism. I'm sure you'll appreciate something from her if you keep it up. It's too early to decide on giving up. It's a great thing that you tried in the first place..
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Too lazy to count but I wonder how many Hannibal jokes have been made so far...