Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML
Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a friend at an ice cream place, and a guy started chatting with us. As he eventually went to leave, he told me, "That's a nice looking date you got there." Then he turned to my friend. "Wish I could say the same to you." FML
Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I heard, "Hey, ugly's back again." FML
Today, I went on an a date with a guy I met online. We were waiting in line at Starbucks when he turned to me and said, "Do you want anything?" Just before I was about to answer, he practically shoved in front of me and paid for himself. The cashier looked more horrified than I did. FML
Today, I was at work at an ice cream shop when a hot guy came in and started chatting me up. I got him his ice cream and as I handed it to him, he mentioned that I was cute and walked away. Then I realised he hadn't paid for the ice cream, and I didn't even get a date out of it. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, I went grocery shopping at the store near my house. Upon checking out, I look up to see that my cashier is none other than the woman I went on a date with a few months ago, and whose calls and texts I ignored after she began to obsess over me. FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
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Top comments
sonicgreg 12
I'll have a wingman and a large fry.
jasonbrosef 0
Make it more awkward and have a conversation with him while he's down there.
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Comments (100)
xIBleedPurplex16 0
Lol lameee
icrest80 4
He's a pussy
justjazzmyn 3
he definitely had fun.
kiran_fml 5
You should've called him out on it
Jakesterk96 8
OP should've "accidentally" dropped the smoothie on the coward when the coworker handed it to her.
Trisha_aus 15
I thumbed you down just for your pic..m sorry
Jakesterk96 8
I'm sorry you're going to see the Knicks lose today.
Jezlovespink 5
I thumbed u up cuz of ur pic!!! :) im from miami!!! :D go heat!!
The_Hitdude 12
I thumbed all three of you down because you're talking about basketball instead of the FML. This isn't nba.com.
PussyPredator 6
1, I have to comment regarding your profile. Justin Bieber did not grow up in poverty. I don't know what crazy shit you're smoking, but I want some.
Sparks808 10
#1, your mom read your diary and your plot has been discovered! Give it up! As for the FML, that sucks. The guy is a coward. 'Accidentally' dropping your smoothie on him sounds like a capital idea.
godhelpusall111 12
Said the one with a Justin bieber profile picture...
congele 6
Have any one-night stands lately? XD
xXxIracebethxXx 14
I don't think "last year" would be lately.
xoconnie 8
what the heck happened on that date?!?!
sonicgreg 12
I'll have a wingman and a large fry.
crazycatlady5 6
I'm sure it went smoothly :)
laurenobrien 4
You don't need them! Don't worry you can def do better then that jerk
Conner93MB 5
I like how it's instantly the guys fault. It isn't possible she was a terrible date or anything. NO PFFFFT HAHA HOW COULD I POSSIBLY THINK THAT?! Oh. Maybe because I'm not a sexist ****.
alycion 39
Even if she was a terrible date, he's working. Sick it up and do your job or go in a back room. No need to be a five year old about not liking someone.
startrekker 3
And who cares if she was a terrible date? It was last year, this guy completely and utterly overreacted. OP sounded cool about it.
Michaelsgirl04 9
safe to assume the date didn't go well?
skyorpia101 4
...
xxxSANAxxx 0
haha was your date THAT bad?
MisUnFortunate 31
Lol apparently. xD I've never been so crazy or horrible to someone they felt like hiding from me... unless... UNLESS! They hide and I don't notice. :O
flashback.miss 28
That's just hilariously pitiful.
DogsPaw 16
Ummmmm... WTF is your profile pic. It scares me.
caybree 0
It appears to be a jeweled penis, which isn't as grand as it sounds.
SkoomaKi 28
I take it the date wasn't great? I could imagine him ******* up in some way. Or maybe you screwed it up OP?
jasonbrosef 0
Make it more awkward and have a conversation with him while he's down there.
kkjkidonthate 4
I would like a order of large fries covered in awk sauce.