Today, my landlady roasted a joint of beef and the whole house smelled wonderful. OK, even if I am a masochistic vegetarian and former omnivore, that was way beyond cruel. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Grossed out
Today, a barbecue joint opened near my apartment, close enough that I can smell the kitchen exhaust. I'm a vegan activist, so smelling animals being burned is a serious trauma for me. Now I either have to either move or constantly feel sick and depressed. FML
Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML
Roomies
Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Go vegan
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Digging my heels in
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
Today, my girlfriend's parents wanted to cook dinner for me. After a whole day of cooking up a storm, her parents cooked an elaborate meal of roast lamb, pork chops and grilled chicken. Rejecting a meal is like spitting in ones face in Chinese culture. I'm vegetarian. FML
Top comments
dontfmlplzzz 6
Not cruel, no one should alter their diet around you
waswashere 0
I hear joint of beef and all I can think of is someone smoking a cow and getting high
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Comments (94)
PuffDaddy395 3
Maybe you should reconsider the vegetarian thing...meat is good.
stevenJB 25
Our ancestors survived on meat for millions if years...nothing wrong with it.
zach8771 3
I bet u like meat
gojira666 7
You had me at "roasted a joint"
Colonel_Lexi 18
(ಠ_ಠ) eat it...no one's watching...
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Allow me to state a few things to those who are biased towards the obvious subject: Statistics show that there are many drawbacks and health risks related to the consumption of meat, which are either much lower or virtually nonexistent in vegetarians. Every myth you've heard about vegetarianism (no protein/iron/b12) is just that - a myth, as all those things are easily avoided with a little bit of planning and general knowledge about food. Every nutrient can be obtained from vegetarian and even vegan sources if you look it up. Also, not everyone who doesn't eat meat tortures themselves with bland textures and flavors. Some of us know how to cook. My personal conclusion from all my research would be that we can perfectly survive without meat, but we also have the ability to consume it when there is nothing else (such as during the Ice Age). Even some herbivores will resort to eating carrion as a last resort. That said, I really don't give a cockatoo's rump if you eat meat or not, but I do care about blatant misinformation circulating around. As for OP, well, too bad OP. It's your choice, so deal with it.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Meat is amazing. My family is a total meat loving group of people. I even have awesome canine teeth (hehe). I cant imagine life without meat
silvermoonstar3 3
Seriously, OP? I'm veggy (have been for about 9 years) and I don't see the issue with this. Oh no, your landlady made food for someone that's not you. Big deal?
GoW_Chick 15
I feel a great sadness for vegetarians, they don't eat bacon... How can live in a world without bacon?!
MissHayleyJames 7
There are some specific essential proteins and amino acids that can only be found in animals. Sure you can survive without them but anyone can survive on Cheetoes and soda too. In the end we're all dead though so eat whatever you want. The fact of the matter is, people live well into their eighties and nineties eating meat every day of their lives with no health problems whatsoever. My great grandmother is 96 and not on a single medication. She grew up on a farm and has eaten meat every single day. So again, eat whatever you want, you're just going to die anyway. You might live a couple years longer being vegetarian or you might get hit by a bus tomorrow or you might get cancer when you're 65 and be outlived by a lot of healthy meat eaters.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
54, It's not about living longer, it's about living better in the meantime. For me, it's a matter of feeling MUCH more energetic, stronger, and full of life, especially after battling fatigue for so long. I had grandparents who also lived on a farm, ate a lot of meat, and both lived to be nearly 100, but that's also influenced by genetics since their relatives and people in their region often live quite long. But, that long life also didn't come without meat related illness. Also, the statistics I was referring to are cross country/region statistics, showing that in general, people are much healthier in places where little meat is consumed, and sicker where more is consumed. Again, I don't think there's a cookie cutter diet or lifestyle for everyone, but I'm quite sick of people judging and perpetuating misinformation and misconceptions about vegetarianism.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Also, there are NO essential amino acids that are only found in meat. There are a couple non-essential ones, but they are those that the body manufactures itself and does not need to obtain through food. This is what I mean about myths and people who don't know what they're talking about.
blegehlehgleh 0
Just so you understand, when the body "produces" these nutrients, it's really the protein you eat bypassing the flesh synthesis stage and getting converted into what you need. It's essentially like your body's making meat out of the protein you consume, and eating itself. Your body doesn't just magically make nutrients, you need to remember that your body IS meat, and will act as such at a chemical level
VorpikeII 17
While vegetarianism is healthier for some aspects, I personally think that if we weren't meant to eat meat to begin with, we wouldn't be able to eat it. Then again, I can't go without meat. I tried to see how long I could go once, and I lasted about a week.
DrMime 10
I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots, we are the apex predator! Would you stop a lion from eating meat? Vegetarianism is a form of pantheism, the belief that humans don't deserve the bounty of nature, a mindset that advances left wing nonsensical beliefs and makes it easier to advance the ultimate goal: humans are a disease. And if people accept and understand vegetarians, why is it so wrong to protest certain types of meat? Or any meat for that matter? Sooner or later, the government will regulate our meat consumption, bacon will be rationed. And you don't what bacon to be rationed, do you? No? That's what I thought. Commie.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I can see that it's pointless to argue with people who only see one side of things - their side, because they believe it is "obvious" and unnecessary for them to research. I never wanted to argue anyway, only to point out that the way you live is not necessarily the correct way for everyone else, and your refusal to accept some basic facts makes you no better than the preachy, fanatical, vegetarian PETA-heads we all hate. I shall leave you with a quote I find fitting for the situation. "If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way." - Bertrand Russell
taco_bender 12
Jeez, it rly doesnt matter what people decide to eat. If they turn veggeterian then thats there choice. To each there own choice in diet. But personally i need meat to make tacos. I dont eat veggie tacos.
emilyjgraham 34
Shrooms, I know you've done your research and I haven't but maybe the illnesses in the areas that eat more meat are due to undercooked chicken or something? There's nothing wrong with being a vegetarian but when they complain that they miss meat or the smell is amazing but it's selfish that someone has it in front of them (which OP has done in other words) it's annoying. I've always personally said the same thing when a vegetarian argues that it's cruel to animals, the ones we eat are pretty much born, fed and slaughtered for us to eat. So technically it's not animal cruelty. >.<
KYLAisaBITCH 4
If we weren't meant to eat meat, who said we were meant to eat plants? The human race would have died out a couple years (or months, possibly weeks) after they were evolved... We eat what we need to survive, be that of plants or animals. Be happy you are here. Some people like things others don't. I for one hate most veggies in raw form, fry it up & I think it's better.
supimnyancat 9
Cue the thumbs down, but I don't know what a masochistic vegetarian is.
kathii01 20
Right, what is that??? He gets pleasure from his veggies beating him off????
patacus 14
so eat some damn meat
IAdminIFlow 0
agreed, meat is a gift from dog so accept it and go eat some damn steak. u will live again.
IAdminIFlow 0
not dog, god. lol
DrMime 10
Why not from dog?
Ghouly_fml 7
Dogs are delicious they taste like chicken! But they give you worms :(
dontfmlplzzz 6
Not cruel, no one should alter their diet around you
DrMime 10
Did you know that being a vegetarian can cause serious problems? Like 'Stuck-up-vegeterian-idus'. Also, it's been scientifically proven that vegetarians are more likely to give birth to cabbage patch kids!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Oh snap, Dr. Mime, that sounds serious! I guess I'll have to stop eating vegetables too. Imagine how much weight I'll lose on a diet of air and dust! I'll be in supermodel shape in no time!
DrMime 10
That's the spirit!!!
GoW_Chick 15
How can you eat veggies, you're eating Larry the cucumber! Anyone else had to watch religious vegetable stories known as VeggieTales? No, just me, alrighty then.
redbluegreen 41
I wouldn't say I had to. I thoroughly enjoyed them.
DrMime 10
59- your comment gave me this weird day dream about what would happen if vegetarians ruled the earth and rounded up vegetable eaters. They forced us to worship 'Gourd'. And made us watch these horrible videos of what life was like for vegetables back in the farm days. The videos were really funny though, because they were just farming documentaries with high pitched screaming dubbed in.
ICATiger 13
Go out for some nice salad. Nature Boy.
GoW_Chick 15
Girl, nature girl.
ICATiger 13
Gow chick what's with the correcting me all the time?? I feel like you're lucking behind me waiting for me to make a mistake...
missyj0 12
... lurking*. Heheh.
GoW_Chick 15
I was just helping you out, because that's what I do. Want to know why? Well it's because *raspy voice* I'm batman. :)
waswashere 0
I hear joint of beef and all I can think of is someone smoking a cow and getting high
j_cat187 20
I found a way to use a cow as a bong
ShroomsOnAcid 17
But you were already too high to notice all you're inhaling is cow farts.
Boston_4_Life 3
If you love animals so much, stop eating there food!
nalydk 0
Their* ... Had to do it
IAdminIFlow 0
bad grammar nazi, resist!
tdawg4200 0
Proper spelling is important. You fool.
micahsmommy 13
Time to grill a veggie burger.
DrMime 10
Have fun with that! I, along with the rest of normal human being society will partake in a real beef burger. We have canine teeth for a reason people. EVOLUTION!!!
j_cat187 20
Joint of beef you say? Did she share?
Epsilonyx 15
How does sexual gratification/general pleasure through pain relate to being a vegetarian? "Yeah, I'm your dirty bitch, asparagus!"
Epsilonyx 15
Yeah, I assumed it was some off usage. I feel like there's a more appropriate term, though...haha.
DrMime 10
"Ya, you make me cry! You slutty onions!"