Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was printed on it. Not two hours after getting it and putting my keys on it, I locked them in my car. I don't have a spare. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML
Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting three hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML
Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML
Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML
Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML
Today, after being without my car keys for two days, I finally got a locksmith to unlock my car on the off chance I'd left my keys in there. $170 later, the car was open, but I didn't find my keys. Frustrated, I threw the paperwork in the garbage... where I spotted my keys. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
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Top comments
takeapieandrun 9
Talk about irony...
kkmwong 11
Epic win for the lanyard.
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Comments (161)
takeapieandrun 9
Talk about irony...
Windv 12
Irony? I thought it was very apt.
PutItIn 8
Did you look in and say "I see what you ******* did there!" ?
DKParth13 5
I bet AAA has an epic win lanyard !!
rawrkittyrawr 6
I believe irony is a dish best served cold
IfTheKeyFits 3
I wouldn't say talk about irony, I'd say talk about stupidity.
nitewlf12 10
I know! Isn't the irony just beautiful? It's like life's very own personalized **** you.
perdix 31
#26. That would be revenge.
rawrkittyrawr 6
46 I know that I was saying it was another dish served cold, not that irony was the only one.
36AngryPandas 1
52- you are a cat...and I am a Panda... how odd
zombicidal 11
I'm probably going to sound stupid but what's a lanyard is it like a key chain?
lopezoliviajane 12
It's like a fabric thing, kinda looks like a necklace, and there's a hook at the bottom to attach your keys to. I have one that says " my other face has a mustache."
zombicidal 11
oh I know those things I just didn't know what they were called thanks
DalekScythe 0
that epic fail, is an epic win!
southerngrl 0
What an epic fail!
EmyB_fml 8
Fail for you, but win for the keys
decidedlyvague 11
Actually, irony is just a dish best served.
whitesox365 0
I find ice cream is a dish best served cold as well. Call me a nut, but thats just my opinion.
BT14 5
Epic fail is so played out and is a hipster doofus expression
endwar007 0
Lol yaa that, or the key chain wanted you to know that it's alive and was taking it's revenge for MAN HANDLING it !! :P :D
lastsinglepanda 16
The irony...
you_and_me_fml 8
Yeah, i'm sure AAA got a kick out of that one
sarapsosis 1
aww lonely panda so cute
36AngryPandas 1
He lies, he is not the only panda.
mango260 9
Lols that happened to my friend, she called her Mexican peeps who arrived less than 5 min and opened the car... So it's always good to have a Mexican friend! They know how to break into cars!!! :D
JRFaceless 8
YDI for buying such a thing. I am so sick of people saying that so damn much, it trivializes the phrase.
RebekahBrooke 9
Is your Aunt Flo visiting?
nitewlf12 10
Don't taze me bro!
cheezy1haha 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You suck. That is the most epic phrase ever! You must be Emo if you hate it. Stupid Emo. You are hated.
Person1233 13
"Epic fail" needs to die. All the pre-teens religiously reciting it daily have destroyed it.
Life_sucks_13 6
See epic fail doesn't need to die. The people constantly saying it over and over again do.
36AngryPandas 1
Jibba Jabba
mintcar 10
Your comment goes so well with your display picture. Y u no smile?
JRFaceless 8
Indeed it does
DreBeezy 9
Wow someone wasn't very popular in their highschool years, were they?
Ecklcakes 15
How do you trivialise "Epic fail", it doesn't exactly have deep rooted meaning.
sicnesses 6
Well arnt you just a bucket of fun!!! :D
nerdfighteria 7
43- Are you twelve?
Sl1mShad3y 10
KILLJOY!!!
iloveshh23 2
your comment was an epic fail
whitesox365 0
Redundancy: By anonomous Epic fail, troll, winning, pwn (conjugation of owned), noobz, fag, LOLZ, swag, bro (and any subsequent forms), chill, dude, gay, ****, "sucks to suck", owned, "that's what she said" (when used inappropriately), your mom, and "literally" (also commonly misused). Any expressions, words, or phrases not mentioned have already slipped into a repetitive conundrum residing in my brain, becoming so monotonous that i fail (one might say epicly) to even grasp that they annoy me anymore.
enebaii 1
Wow. Stereotypical bitch.
kkmwong 11
Epic win for the lanyard.
greenguitar06 0
Next time he needs one that says "winning" maybe his luck will be better with that one
Ecklcakes 15
Get an epic win lanyard for your epic fail lanyard.
MsMeiriona 2
Quite the prophetic purchase.
Ecklcakes 15
Did the OP also happen to buy something with "ironic consequence"written on it?
bizarre_ftw 22
Yes. A bumper sticker.
Ecklcakes 15
In other news, the number of "collision" lanyard sales have skyrocketed along with car accidents in the US.
tandem123 6
Its an omen
ReaPete 0
Maybe ... Think more.
fthislyfe 22
EPIC FAAAAAAAAAIL
GrammaticalNazi 2
How did you ever come up with such an original, clever comment?
whitesox365 0
Some kids struggle for years trying to get into college; but this girl is gonna waltz right in and blow them away with her pure intellect.
CaliGali 9
Time to call AAA locksmith
sp3nZ3r 1
There is no reason to drink over this xD
hairguitarhero 5
You seem to enjoy a monotonous life that consists only of epic failures.
every1luvsboners 11
Just get a new car.
ItsTheKing 10
That's a silly idea boners! He might as well buy a new house, after he has moved to Mexico and conquered every taco shop there and- wait, what was I talking about?
NomOnShroomz 14
THIS IS AN IMPOSTER!! HES NOT THE REAL BONERS!!
JMTS 0
Yes, it is.
stroudie94 9
The real boners had thousands of comments. This one only has 40... unless he somehow started over, it's not the real boners.
Sirin_fml 47
He is the real every1luvsboners; we helped him start over with a fresh account.