Today, I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrases my boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML
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Top comments
stefluvsyou 4
Learn to swear at him in another language
liggity 1
Hopefully you'd already been served or u probably also ate some spit
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Comments (114)
stefluvsyou 4
Learn to swear at him in another language
indielove 13
He sounds like a keeper.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I suggest German. Or Swahili.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I was just going by the fact that they just sound ****** badass. Really, you can say almost anything in German with the right tone and have it sound insulting.
abbyelizabeth 9
Always google it..google never lies.
abbyelizabeth 9
Aw shit. Posted twice. :p
fatgirllovesfml 0
# 21 German swears are not similar, you obviously don't know the German language... I'll tell you a couple to prove my point. Arschloch, arschkeks, armleuchter, dummkopf, dumme nuss, fettarsch, fick dich in knie..and the list goes on and on!!
jellybean120 10
Can you now tell us what they mean so we can use them, too?
musicfreak9821 6
Suka! learn some Russian.
lmfao_shame 9
sound pretty similar to me fatgirl.
not_cool808 14
21-ithink you're confuse of German and Italy
NotAPedo 0
No manchez señor 29
MrTittySprinkles 7
PANOCHA!!!!!!!!!!!
urdirtyolduncle 15
And you found this out when the waiter spat in your food?
sydney184829 0
Don't u just hate people who reply to the first person to get their opinion at the top?? O and we don't care if ur first
MrTittySprinkles 7
-21 su panocha está muy floja!!
Keyman1212 14
**** fuckity **** **** ****. English works just fine.
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
Figlio Di Puttana.
VianaJ_Garcia 14
Lame.
koolkat27 13
62- I would concur with that statement.
PSQ91 6
Rofl @ 81
FFPulley 9
Pinche' cabrones wey
robotiick7 23
24- I've learned how to say I have kids in my pants in German and people think I'm insulting them. It's fun to do it in public and screw round with people
liggity 1
Hopefully you'd already been served or u probably also ate some spit
GlitteryMasakali 1
Swear at him in Swedish!
poostool 5
Do you prefer spitting or swallowing? I prefer it when the nice lady just keeps it in her mouth and let's it dribble out onto her tats as she sucks me off again, then rubs it all over tatties and licks her fingers in appreciation.
Nosrebor 8
72.... What the ****?
poostool 5
I love women.
supimnyancat 9
Well did you impress them?
supimnyancat 9
Ugh I wish you could delete comments. :/
ImmaB3AST 7
Now you got a way to cuss him out if needed without making a scene.
borkchop1992 15
yo quiero hablar tu gato
borkchop1992 15
comer*
Blue87 4
Lol ur dumb enough to trust him. U should have asked someone else like ur friends before using it.
white16sox 19
In this case google translate is your best friend also she should be able to trust her bf but shouldn't now
nerdfighteria 7
Why wouldn't she trust him? (provided he hasn't done something like his before) He's her boyfriend. And why would her friends be any different? Maybe they don't speak Spanish, maybe they would tell you that your BF was right just to get a laugh. I don't know. If someone offered to teach me a couple words in another language, I wouldn't immediately think "Oh, I better ask my friends first, to be sure!". Do you run everything your boyfriend tells you through your friends, just in case?
DontModMeDammit 10
"what was that about you having a cat in your pants?"
drawmesunshine 17
Dije tengo un gato en los pantalones.
ikickgingers 15
If she spit on you then I would consider your boyfriends experiment a success. Trial and error.
Fmls4life 6
Dude you stole my pic. dick move
KMtheDrummer 6
And he kicks gingers. Dick move.
decidedlyvague 11
Gingers don't have souls.
AGswag 8
Capo mi verga
dreamering 16
Take the positive side. You could have said the same thing to your teacher, boss or other important people. With the waitress, maybe you got a spit on the food and that's it.
sxe_beast 11
Except that through saliva you can catch strep, herpes, mono, CMV, HPB, etc...
catfishmoose 4
just throwing it out there but you can't get herpes from saliva... pay attention in sex ed.