Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep for three hours. FML
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 38
You should have booked it out of there. Your gas speaks volumes about you. Don't shelf this issue- I would get your colon checked periodically.
DocBastard 38
I always thought that stood for "Lockheed Martin Astronautics Operations," but it all makes sense now!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (137)
tomtaylor85 0
hahahahaha
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Farts stink.
the_flirtt 0
sounds like a health issue.
zp5 4
11, thank you captain obvious.
jakeisawake 3
Yeah... farts stink. I don't know of anything smelling good when it has methane and hydrogen sulfide mixed in it.
dani22097 0
and what country is that
urdirtyolduncle 15
that stinks !
WannaBeActor1018 11
you stink.
5t3ff1k4h 44
You all stink.
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Nah, close your legs and the smell will go away...
blonderabbit 0
what exactly were you dreaming of....
StoryOfTheYear 14
Sounds like a blast
sweeney18 0
did the library explode.?! cuz if it did....that'd be one hell of a fart! :))
CockSneeze 2
hiiiii
ClickMyPicture 0
Was it a wet fart? ):
ItsaMeLuigi 6
Your bodies natural alarm clock.
stephanie0613 0
sounds like something I would do!! haha
BadasS14 0
115- are you implying that girls do fart too???
ClickMyPicture 0
wait what... girls fart?!
untoward 0
117 yes they fart, and pms farts smell 10x worse than anything a man puts out
MLuckyCapoeirist 6
A research proved that men had higher quantity of gas, but women had more "offensive odors" :D.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
all of y'all stink and that's what I think now my face is all pink cuz I made a stink. whaddya think?!
InsertAUsername 0
this reminds me of silent library for some reason..
suppepz 0
haha you should be quiet in library's
kels_409 0
Hahahahahaha! Nice job.
SirSantpoort 0
Lemme guess.. You are the right one?
ImNinja 0
lol win ^
lacrossekid 0
hhahaha
Hellraiser47 0
sucks.
Ass_Kick 0
first
valri3 0
Lmao! (laugh my ass off).
worldclass 0
Thanks for explaining!
DocBastard 38
I always thought that stood for "Lockheed Martin Astronautics Operations," but it all makes sense now!
zp5 4
i said this once and i'll say it again; thank you captain obvious.
valri3 0
OP farted so I was trying to make use of a pun. Hence the lmao.....
mintcar 9
A pun should be quite obvious. Once read, it should be followed with " oh I get it" or " ah, I see what you did there. " (I'm not the queen of making puns though. You'd have to go to Doc for that). I thought you were trying to be captain obvious until I read your explanation.
DocBastard 38
Woohoo! I'm the queen of puns! Heeeeey...wait a minute...
mintcar 9
Hahaha. I caught my mistake but decided to leave it there due to laziness. I was actually kind of hoping you would look over it. Damn you Doc!
WallyTheWombat 0
Something like... I'll bet that was a rip-roaring good time. Sounds like a gas! or even That stinks. I ...stink... with puns but you get the picture.
shoelaces301 0
you mean fmao?!?!
WHAT_THA_PHUCK 0
Bean-o!
mfmylifesrsly 29
my dad takes those before he has beans, well, sometimes :/ Also, what is your tattoo of? It looks cool
skittle68 0
No it doesn't... It looks like the top of a cartoon bird's head.
natureboyn 6
Best Fml I've read thus far. ha ha
boopityboppity 11
You can't have been here long.
zp5 4
it really isn't that great.
mz_booty 0
lol his a man.... men+farts= bound to laugh
boopityboppity 11
I'm guessing 80 wasn't burdened with an overabundance of learning.
haquai 0
83 is delightful
mz_booty 0
#83 your such a big softie!!
sweet_candy_ 17
Lmao at least you have a nice librarian :)
lemonypower 6
Haa i modded this one. :) Maybe you should not eat beans...
jakeisawake 3
I hope you didn't moderate this one, so you could make that "bean" comment.
Zmeilerr 22
At least you didn't shit your pants in your sleep. PLOP!!
Twisted107 4
true