Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, I was working on potty training my daughter. She opened the fridge while I wasn't looking and peed all over the lower shelf. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Today, my nine year-old stepson overheard me telling my husband that I was almost out of my favorite shampoo, and since it was discontinued, I couldn't buy any more. He got in the shower and happily emptied the bottles down the drain. FML
Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML
Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Today, I was in Starbucks with my daughter when she noticed a travel cup she liked. She picked one up and asked for it, but I said no because it was expensive. She angrily slammed it back into its stand and in the process, knocked over a display of ceramic mugs. I had to pay for each broken mug. FML
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Top comments
klc20071989_fml 20
At least she knows her math!
ThomasBombadil 31
Don't cry over spilt milk OP.
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Comments (125)
klc20071989_fml 20
At least she knows her math!
NightHawk387 22
But not much else, apparently.
Stazza11 27
OP forgot to mention her age, meaning this could either be a simple mistake or it could have been done out of spite.
FYLTHOUGH 15
Who still measures milk in pints?
tifdunc 14
That's why your country should use gallons. It would solve all these problems
ElementaryEdGuy 18
68 - Not sure if trolling... But four pints IS half a gallon. If they use pints, they use gallons.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
67: It's still fairly common, but probably not the way you're thinking. Often if you get a "single" (single being in quotations because it's usually consumed in one sitting but is actually 2 or 2.5 servings) serving of milk or chocolate milk (like out of the dairy case at a convenience store), it will come in a pint. I bought one the other day.
falon142012 22
67, OP is from the UK. It's still common in some parts of the world.
FYLTHOUGH 15
I'm from England but have never heard anyone measure milk in pints, it's measured in litres here
loooloool 13
She's not the sharpest spoon in the drawer is she...
littlesarahxo 30
I'm also from England and everywhere I've ever seen milk is measured in pints.
Sadgirox 7
#84 , I think the saying is sharpest knife in the drawer .....
Ray_of_midnight 22
@67 Americans. Also, I'm not sure why she couldn't buy a quart, that's two pints, unless there was a need for separate containers.
Sadgirox 7
#94, first if all Americans measure milk in gallons, second if you dont know the answer ,then dont answer it
klc20071989_fml 20
Actually where I am (in America), you can buy it in gallon, quarts, and pints.
alicat13 12
#67 - Who still measures distance in miles? Lots of countries still need to play catchup.
barbsillvy 10
Same here #100
amisenho 11
I did something similar to this when I was 6; my mother gave me a $5 bill and asked me to get four quarters from the cashier at the restaurant we were leaving. I went up to the cashier, got the quarters, told the cashier that I didn't need the rest (since I thought my mother only wanted the quarters), and left the restaurant. Needless to say, math and common sense weren't my strong points in school.
ashleyylove3 22
112: I don't really see that as your fault. Instead of your mother telling you she specifically wanted four quarters she should have just said four quarters in general. All you did was follow her request.
TrinityNevada 11
I think loooloool said "spoon" on purpose to be silly.
aimzskee 30
Op should not cry over spilt milk.
Marshallino 24
Seems legit! LMAO.
marcranger 28
She's just doing what you asked, OP! Aren't you glad you have such an obedient daughter?
jonfrenzy 10
Too obedient
RenoTheRhino 30
Smart thinking! Now you have 2 pints. Haha
Echosnow 15
She is your daughter
ea247 20
Hahahaha XD
27inch 9
I don't get it
shaww 28
#5: NOO SHIT
ThomasBombadil 31
Don't cry over spilt milk OP.
Pleonasm 35
*claps*
barakados 11
You... What....... Just take my sword.
TourettesGuyFTW 25
I'll take your sword..and poke you with it. Repeatedly.
RageWolf16 31
This wins the comment section bye
lil_miss_simran 15
She listened to you haha
sk8ter23 5
what the actual **** did I just read?
dachayke 16
A post on FML about someone asking their daughter to get him 2 pints of milk, but instead, she got him a 4 pint and poured half of it out.
mpsteve137 15
Too bad she didn't "milk" it for as much milk as possible. Ehhh
dachayke 16
Not as bad as it was before, but still bad.
dachayke 16
What I meant, was that he changed the pun. It was something else before but he edited it.
sarcasticlover 30
How old is she? O.o In the end u did get two pints of milk :P
mansfield_j 27
You*
RenoTheRhino 30
You also forgot a comma after the word, "end."
dachayke 16
Don't forget to lose the emoticons. You're watching "Extreme Makeover: Comment Edition".