Kids: Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently,...

By Anonymous - 30/03/2014 10:04 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 773

You deserved it 6 912

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Same thing different taste

Overreaction

By sadie - 01/04/2021 23:00

Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 62

By Mamaofdrama - 06/04/2019 18:00

Today, I was working on potty training my daughter. She opened the fridge while I wasn't looking and peed all over the lower shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942

You deserved it 325

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 136

You deserved it 4 255

By reasonablysingle - 11/06/2016 03:27 - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 346

You deserved it 1 249

By Anonymous - 31/01/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, my nine year old stepson overheard me telling my husband that I was almost out of my favorite shampoo, and since it was discontinued, I couldn't buy any more. He got in the shower and happily emptied the bottles down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 084

You deserved it 5 364

By Badlucked - 03/05/2019 06:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 385

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 379

By her mom raised her - 17/05/2014 17:30 - Mexico

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 826

You deserved it 7 034

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 00:46 - United States - Kerman

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 281

You deserved it 7 304

Time out

By Starfucks - 17/12/2015 02:55 - United States - Bensalem

Today, I was in Starbucks with my daughter when she noticed a travel cup she liked. She picked one up and asked for it, but I said no because it was expensive. She angrily slammed it back into its stand and in the process, knocked over a display of ceramic mugs. I had to pay for each broken mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 867

You deserved it 4 537

klc20071989_fml 20

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:29

At least she knows her math!

ThomasBombadil 31

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:31

Don't cry over spilt milk OP.

Comments

ealovan 20

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:33

well in the end you got your milk

loganberrybat 11

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:33

Your daughter sounds awesome.

PhilSnake22 13

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:55

How is that awesome? She sounds like a complete moron actually.

loganberrybat 11

Sunday 30 March 2014 19:08

Sounds like a physical expression of sarcasm to me. To British people, sarcasm is funny.

hellnosucka 27

Sunday 30 March 2014 19:35

British people are special people.

loganberrybat 11

Sunday 30 March 2014 19:50

Yes, yes we are.

Ashamed_Sister 60

Sunday 30 March 2014 20:19

Yes, they are special, very special.

Ben009 13

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:33

You know what they say you can't fix stupid.

ealovan 20

Sunday 30 March 2014 19:54

well I mean she isn't a complete airhead because she knew half of 4 pints was 2

RageWolf16 31

Monday 31 March 2014 1:05

If she's old enough to buy milk by herself, basic subtraction is kind of expected already

Brianna_Ray 23

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:35

At least you still have the amount you need! :p

Kamon97 23

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:38

Got milk?

ThomasBombadil 31

Sunday 30 March 2014 20:00

Nicely done #17.

imlifeless2 25

Monday 31 March 2014 22:21

yes, but only 50% worth.

amisenho 11

Monday 31 March 2014 23:09

More like 2% (or 1% if she thinks she's fat).

mt631 18

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:45

not the brightest bulb is she?

Ki11erC 18

Monday 31 March 2014 17:48

She did exactly as told.

sweetprettykitty 10

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:49

She's what you could call special.

WizzleMan17 11

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:51

Anyone else wondering why this is labeled intimacy?

ksks1234 33

Sunday 30 March 2014 19:05

To some people, milk is a very intimate thing.

gracehi 31

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:54

You've just inspired me to create an awesome new super hero! "Literal Girl!"

dachayke 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 19:27

I still like SuperJerk better.

dachayke 16

Monday 31 March 2014 3:50

I see no one got my Cyanide and Happiness reference. Oh well.

amisenho 11

Monday 31 March 2014 23:11

Too late! "The Literals" from "The Amanda Show" already beat you to it. It's a family that takes everything that everyone says literally.

weveallbeenthere 30

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:56

you got what you asked for, hahahahahahaha

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Same thing different taste

Overreaction

Mommy milkers

Time out

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