Anonymous · 10 November 2026, 09:00 ·West Valley City, United States

Humblebrag much?

Today, I realized that I went from being extremely fit, disciplined, and well-groomed to a shell of myself due to my girlfriend's lack of sex drive. I used to have 10/10s hitting me up for threesomes and have women breaking up with their men for a chance with me. Now I'm stuck with someone who doesn't care about sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 You deserved it 446

4 comments Share

Frustrated wife · 9 November 2026, 12:00 ·Lynchburg, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Get it on!

Today, I tried to explain to my husband how it felt when he asked for sex. I said ,"How would you feel if I asked for sex when you were fixing the car, and I hadn't dressed nicely, shaved, cleaned myself up, or showered?" He said, "I'd fuck you right there in the garage, duh!" I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 You deserved it 203

2 comments Share

Please touch me · 8 November 2026, 12:00 ·Amsterdam, The Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy

Do it again

Today, it's been two weeks since my husband and I argued and I told him to stop groping me every chance he got. He hasn't touched me since, and I never realized how much I secretly liked when he smacked my butt or grabbed my boobs out of the blue. I don't know how to ask for him to start again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 You deserved it 235

5 comments Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Big boy

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 182 You deserved it 6 851

137 comments Share

Anonymous · 4 November 2026, 09:00 ·Dublin, Ireland

Tempting

Today, I got reached out to by an old flame who, in her words, “wants to fuck the life out of me again.” We’re both engaged to new people and have kids. The hardest part? She looks even better now than ever, and I’m a fat hairy slob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 You deserved it 250

2 comments Share

Kelsguuurl · 3 November 2026, 20:00 ·Mexico City, Mexico 🌶️ Spicy

Looney tunes

Today, my mom caught me trying auto-erotic asphyxiation and now I'm on another grippy socks vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 You deserved it 203

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 30 October 2026, 09:00 ·Little Rock, United States

A dish served well cold

Today, after I had sex and had a secret relationship with somebody's husband, and took him from her, karma waited 14 years to pay me back and have the EXACT same thing done to me . FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 You deserved it 756

6 comments Share

Anonymous · 28 October 2026, 03:00 ·Port Washington, United States

Rough week

Today, I invited my crush to the city I moved to for work. Paid for her ticket. She was supposed to be here for a week. Long story short, she spent the week banging my roommate at the Hilton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340 You deserved it 155

1 comment Share

John · 26 October 2026, 22:00 ·Poland 🌶️ Spicy

And the boner?

Today, I've been blessed with a great girlfriend who initiates sex often, but then during the act just lays there looking uninterested while I do all the work. Looking at her bored expression makes me lose all the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210 You deserved it 85

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 25 October 2026, 12:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Cheating season

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend has been banging half the cast we made friends with at the traveling renaissance festival. I thought they were just being nice by gifting us season passes and random activities. I guess she was paying them in other ways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226 You deserved it 65

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 22 October 2026, 09:00 ·London, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Early warning

Today, in my 20s, I was so proud that I could squirt and that it tasted sweet, until a one-night-stand told me to get some blood tests. Long story short, I no longer have type 2 diabetes but my squirt tastes like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179 You deserved it 122

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 20 October 2026, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Getting on a bit

Today, because of alopecia, I'm bald with no beard, but during sex my wife said that I’m finally showing my age. When I asked what she was on about, she yanked a hair out of my ballsack and said, “Look, your first grey hair!” She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208 You deserved it 57

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 20 October 2026, 00:00 ·Fontana, United States

Bad timing

Today, the doctor finally gave us the OK to have sex at 37 weeks pregnant. We were going to make love that night, but she was tired so we planned for the next day. She goes for an appointment and has emergency induction. We haven't had sex since April. No sex until next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141 You deserved it 388

4 comments Share

Anonymous · 19 October 2026, 09:00 ·Dallas, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Bad guy, duh

Today, my wife forgot our anniversary, yet I'm somehow the bad guy because I refused to have makeup sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214 You deserved it 87

0 comment Share

Bill · 18 October 2026, 20:00 ·United States

White lie

Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 You deserved it 431

6 comments Share

Anonymous · 18 October 2026, 12:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Manly man

Today, I think my new girlfriend has a “man cleaning the house” fetish because when she saw me doing laundry for the first time at her house, she thanked me, then did porno type stuff to me in the living room. She now keeps asking to watch me clean naked, which I don’t find sexy at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179 You deserved it 136

2 comments Share

Extra filthy, less fun · 17 October 2026, 22:00 ·New York, United States 🌶️ Spicy

No kinkshaming, but come on…

Today, I was doing some fun scat play with my boyfriend when the fire alarm went off. We both had to scramble into the shower to rinse off, clogged the drain, and left dirty footprints all over the apartment. Then we forgot to turn the shower off and came back to a flood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 You deserved it 376

4 comments Share

Anonymous · 17 October 2026, 09:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Protip for assholes

Today, after I hooked up with this cute guy, the fire alarm went off. I dashed outside, still mostly naked, only to find the alarm was coming from his phone as he slammed the door behind me. There was no fire, he just wanted me gone after the sex was over so he faked the alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260 You deserved it 93

0 comment Share

Horny girl · 14 October 2026, 15:00 ·New York, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Russian roulette

Today, my ex was fucking me, tossing me on his bed and pulling my clothes off. I can't resist sex, but I whimpered, "I'm ovulating…" It seemed to turn him on more. I hope to god I don't get pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 You deserved it 402

5 comments Share

Anonymous · 14 October 2026, 03:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Scheduled

Today, me and my husband have been trying to get pregnant for so long that we have gone from, “Yay, sex everyday!” to “Damn, the schedule says we need to have sex again.” We don’t even really undress anymore, we just move clothes aside so the appropriate body parts are exposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248 You deserved it 90

3 comments Share

Just slow · 13 October 2026, 22:00 ·Naaldwijk, The Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy

Slow learner

Today, my ex casually mentioned that, during our relationship, she started stupid fights over nothing, hoping I would lose my temper and angry-fuck her. She added, "Most guys figure that out pretty quick, I guess you're just slow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 227 You deserved it 85

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 12 October 2026, 09:00 ·Riverside, United States 🌶️ Spicy

No returns

Today, I got the craziest DM ever: A woman rambled on for several paragraphs, stating that it’s my fault she and her husband can’t conceive because years ago I “stole” his virginity and introduced a life of “sin” that’s now being taken out on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216 You deserved it 64

1 comment Share

Kylaisnefarious · 10 October 2026, 20:00 ·Brewer, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Top tip

Today, my boyfriend made me cut a hole into the crotch of my pants so that he could discreetly fuck me in the room next to his mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 You deserved it 255

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 10 October 2026, 15:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Gambling is way too risky

Today, after an argument, my husband bet he could go longer without sex than me, since he’s used to me turning him down for weeks at a time, it’s now been a month, and all I want to do is rub against him like a cat, while he’s walking around completely unbothered. He even ignores me when I’m naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 You deserved it 431

2 comments Share

Bullshit! · 9 October 2026, 22:00 ·Romania 🌶️ Spicy

Can't get no satisfaction

Today, when my wife is ovulating, she is wild, horny, and nearly insatiable. So of course for the last four months, our work schedules have overlapped to give us absolutely no free time together during that magical week. I just got my next few weeks of schedule… and make that five months! FML

I agree, your life sucks 197 You deserved it 63

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 8 October 2026, 15:00 ·Pomona, United States

Risky Google search

Today, my girlfriend freaked out because I tried to introduce her to me being a Little. Instead of hearing me out or trying to learn anything real about the lifestyle, she just called me a sick pervert because of all the bad crap people write about us online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 You deserved it 519

7 comments Share

Anonymous · 7 October 2026, 22:00 ·Saint Venera, Malta

The Betrayal

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 6 years and fiancé has been secretly dating and hooking up with my step-sister behind my back. Now she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499 You deserved it 61

4 comments Share

Cuncked · 6 October 2026, 22:00 ·Virginia Beach, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Unc gets around

Today, I found out the 19 year-old girl I've been attracted to is fucking a 36 year-old unc (I'm 21). What is so wrong with me that she'd rather sleep with an unc than me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 You deserved it 257

5 comments Share

Marcus · 5 October 2026, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Consent is key

Today, my girlfriend asked me to tie her up and spank her while fucking her and calling her a slut. But heaven forbid I later scream at her during an argument. She wailed and gave me the silent treatment, all because I raised my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 318

4 comments Share

Betrayed · 4 October 2026, 03:00 ·Seattle, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Everyone needs a hobby or two

Today, I was looking through my husband's phone and saw porn. I was so upset and immediately collapsed to the floor crying, feeling like I'd been punched. He called me a "giant drama queen" and said he needed the release. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 You deserved it 1 050

6 comments Share