Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Walmart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML
Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim, and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier, I realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go, "Don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
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Top comments
flgirlwguitar 2
At least it was your ex's family and not your current bf.
Simonn_fml 0
Ooohh. So many unfortunates there.
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Comments (88)
Simonn_fml 0
Ooohh. So many unfortunates there.
thatguy888 0
there is an intimacy section at walmart? I never knew.
MarioandSonic 8
the question is: why was RHE mother in the intimacy section aswell?!
benpele101 13
U should have a three-way with his parents
KitchKraft 21
That's exactly what I was thinking 73 xD
flgirlwguitar 2
At least it was your ex's family and not your current bf.
werzal 5
I agree. Who cares if its your ex...
sushi314 12
A WOMAN OF LOOSE OR QUESTIONABLE MORALS! QUICK EVERYONE, GRAB YOUR INTERNET PITCHFORKS!
youaresofucked 0
get ******, bitch
kadeouir 0
Not a fml u dick
marioman12 0
Dick? It's a woman.
omgyoukilledkeny 0
and ??
zack767 0
a bunch people other then them around the store would of seen you also
Jim9349 10
Queer. You need help. A girl with condoms.. with no boyfriend??? WTF
ndawgg 6
She said it was her ex boyfriend's mother. Nowhere does it say she has no current boyfriend.
happypenguin7293 0
yeah I thought the same thing and I was like WHAT?!?!? she shoulda worded it differently
beaniebabe 0
sucksss
Macthenyfe 0
"intimacy" shopping at walmart? What do you charge the new "boyfriend", 25 cents a day? I'd rethink your career
Pointy130 0
I'm really sorry, I misclicked! but really fyl. It's never good when you let it slip to parents that you're not really a functional member of society. I would know.