Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
**** up
Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML
Show off
Today, during gym class, I wanted to show off in front of my classmates by doing a headstand in the middle of the gym. I wanted to hold the position, except my shirt came out of my pants and exposed my belly and breasts to all my classmates. Everyone burst out laughing. It was so embarrassing. FML
Educate me, Mommy
Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for three hours. FML
Today, I gave a presentation for my final on class. While I was giving the speech my shirt strap broke. I ended up flashing everyone including the teacher. At least I got an A. FML
Nervous nelly
Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
I never understood how picturing an audience naked is supposed to calm anything for anyone, especially for a teenage boy. I prefer to picture everyone asleep. It's closer to the truth anyway.
ICastillo 25
Sounds like you had a hard time up there.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (58)
DocBastard 40
I never understood how picturing an audience naked is supposed to calm anything for anyone, especially for a teenage boy. I prefer to picture everyone asleep. It's closer to the truth anyway.
DKParth13 5
Amen!
Oscar_Grouch9 4
Yea, just do what normal people do and drink a bit beforehand, ah just joking
Inheritance 10
'Dont think of boobies, don't think of boobies'. Oh shit..
bestnameright 14
I disagree with rule 3,8, and 9 on your profile doc!
DogsPaw 16
FML disagrees with you.
Poppipuff 14
You never had that nighmare where you find yourself naked in front of an audience ? It's humiliating. Picturing everyone naked is kind of the same process, seeing them in a ridiculous situation will help you to stop being nervous about the opinion of just a bunch of humans everyone could laugh at individually.
squiggles159 5
yeah I understands Op's what kinda guy doesn't wanna see a girl naked but that was just a wrong time
onlychildFTW 34
I've never had a dream of being naked in front of everyone. I don't dream much anyways. I have dreamed about everyone in the school being gunned down though.
wickedninja918 1
46 what does your comment have to do with the fml or even doc's comment
Adam Scully 7
I don’t get it either
gerzayngh 5
Hope it was because you saw a hot girl
vanessa09865 23
why? what would be so wrong if it was a hot guy?
silvercamaro 22
^ i think you missed the point of the comment...
vanessa09865 23
i think they missed the memo that being gay is okay
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
I can see 10's response, to make sure to consider if OP was possibly gay or what not but the point was (im sure) to be because he saw someone hot... girl or guy :)
AskMyName_fml 5
Thank you!
vanessa09865 23
almost anybody could be hot if you imagined them that way
Meettitan 14
26- I have to disagree with you there.........
annalily5 28
Your eyes have lead a blessed life if you think that.
SettingSun89 5
26 - i myself am pansexual but i dont see any reason for you to be offended. This comment doesnt seem like it was intended to discriminate against homosexuals. I can absolutely not stand homophobics :p but i must except that being heterosexual is the "norm", since many people are. Theres nothing wrong with assuming someones straight.
lilhellian 27
45 I've read that pansexuality is like loving everything or whatever.. Could I ask for a lil more details about it? I've used google but it didn't help.
ur2nvthis85 3
I am pansexual as well and I always explain it as simply being attracted to people regardless of their sex. Whether they have a penis of ****** isn't of concern or even thought about. Different from bisexual because most that are bisexual have more of an interest in one sex but also are attracted to the other. Hope that clarifies.
lilhellian 27
That helps quite a bit thank you. *offers cookie* :)
TheMathMajor 26
I have always thought of it as being more attracted to people for who they are rather than for their sex. I think the world would be a better place if everyone was pansexual, haha. I don't identify as pansexual, by the way, so I could be wrong, but that is how I've heard it explained. According to the Kinsey scale I fall right between straight and bisexual.
ur2nvthis85 3
Good reiteration.
gerzayngh 5
WOW vanessa I didn't mean to offend you dumb idiots who have to make everything anti-gays or racist. If you are so worried about that then go take it up with your state.
TheMathMajor 26
I know, sorry. I realized after I wrote it that I said pretty much exactly what you said. For some reason in my head it sounded like something different.
zander4310 5
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH you are a weird person
FaygoAndMiracles 18
I was pretty sure that bisexual meant attracted to two different genders, normally female and male, and pansexual meant three or more? (By the way, if you are confused as to what I mean by "more than two genders", gender is not a biological/physical thing, that would be a biological sex, but genders are things like cisgender, genderfluid, agender, bigender, transgender, etc)
TheMathMajor 26
The way I understand it , 92, a pansexual person can potentially be attracted to a person of any gender because gender itself is not the thing that is attractive to them.
ChazzyWazzy1998 10
92- there is only 2 genders last time I checked ?
XxAnnie23xX 15
Fyl, that's embarrassing. :S
LiterOfCola 16
Learn how to waistband it OP!
Aspen_Grace33 27
I'm pretty sure they would have noticed even more had he been trying to shove his erection under his waistband.
LiterOfCola 16
You're obviously not a good waistbander.
0RedPenguin0 8
9 - that's why prior planning is super-useful
newbiehere99 6
Waistband it: A technique used by males to conceal an erection. The penis is tucked in between the waistband of a pair of boxers or briefs and the stomach. Sentence: On the long early morning walk to the bathroom from my dorm room, I had to employ the waistband tuck to avoid people seeing the tent I was pitching. Urbandictionary.com
mcrepas 19
Works every time! Used to have to do it every day, same time in school.
chrissy2 28
How do you get erections in school? I find it hard to think that anything about sitting in a classroom is sexy.
Mister_Triangle 21
It's called RBs, or Random Boner Syndrome. It affects most males between the ages of 13 and 65. There's no warning, there's no cause, and there's no cure. It's the male curse; the burden we must bare
_wraith 15
They have support groups for RBS, as well as support groups for those living with a RBS sufferer.
RedPillSucks 33
It's easy to get a boner in school, or work, or, ..., pretty much everywhere. I used to sit next to this really cute girl who wore these tight sweaters. When she stretched, she would arch her back so her boobs pushed out more, and... Excuse me a moment...
GwylaFelidae 7
Apparently a classmate in my English class would pet his one eyed snake during class. This could have just been a rumor, but one can never know and I never asked for confirmation. But that was also 8+ years ago so there is no going back and asking.
Aspen_Grace33 27
Oh wow! That's really embarrassing, but depending on how far they were away they may not have really noticed!
ObnoxiousJeans 6
How does that help you? It'd freak me out! Imaging my professor naked. Ew.
Kog_Hiro 17
Shouldn't be so stiff OP. It's not as hard as you think it is.
ICastillo 25
Sounds like you had a hard time up there.
BlowinChronic 18
You are 7... o.O
ICastillo 25
What the hell I was 8 awhile ago. Now I look like an ass.
teven0855 6
But now you're 8 again...
BlowinChronic 18
I think the FML gods are trolling us.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
And so, the wooden dick jokes begin..
ICastillo 25
Awe come Tourette'sguy don't be such a stiff.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Gah...I have pun-writer's block, so I'll just yell 'boner', laugh, then casually walk away.
ICastillo 25
Awe come Tourettesguy your being hard headed.
ICastillo 25
You're*
pacolaca 6
Sexy pic bro
accioshannon 17
If it was impressive, that might be a good thing.
LO388 7
OP in Ron Burgundy voice: "Don't act like you're not impressed..."
dustyb90 4
Lol!!!
speckledots 29
Well that's a childhood memory you'll never forget. You made sure nobody else would either. Bravo.
RedPillSucks 33
I can see the 25th high school reunion... Hey Phil! Do you remember Eric, "The Erection" Thompson?