By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 20:41 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 718
You deserved it 16 702

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I never understood how picturing an audience naked is supposed to calm anything for anyone, especially for a teenage boy. I prefer to picture everyone asleep. It's closer to the truth anyway.

Sounds like you had a hard time up there.


I never understood how picturing an audience naked is supposed to calm anything for anyone, especially for a teenage boy. I prefer to picture everyone asleep. It's closer to the truth anyway.

Yea, just do what normal people do and drink a bit beforehand, ah just joking

'Dont think of boobies, don't think of boobies'. Oh shit..

I disagree with rule 3,8, and 9 on your profile doc!

FML disagrees with you.

You never had that nighmare where you find yourself naked in front of an audience ? It's humiliating. Picturing everyone naked is kind of the same process, seeing them in a ridiculous situation will help you to stop being nervous about the opinion of just a bunch of humans everyone could laugh at individually.

yeah I understands Op's what kinda guy doesn't wanna see a girl naked but that was just a wrong time

I've never had a dream of being naked in front of everyone. I don't dream much anyways. I have dreamed about everyone in the school being gunned down though.

46 what does your comment have to do with the fml or even doc's comment

I don’t get it either

Hope it was because you saw a hot girl

why? what would be so wrong if it was a hot guy?

^ i think you missed the point of the comment...

i think they missed the memo that being gay is okay

I can see 10's response, to make sure to consider if OP was possibly gay or what not but the point was (im sure) to be because he saw someone hot... girl or guy :)

almost anybody could be hot if you imagined them that way

26- I have to disagree with you there.........

Your eyes have lead a blessed life if you think that.

26 - i myself am pansexual but i dont see any reason for you to be offended. This comment doesnt seem like it was intended to discriminate against homosexuals. I can absolutely not stand homophobics :p but i must except that being heterosexual is the "norm", since many people are. Theres nothing wrong with assuming someones straight.

45 I've read that pansexuality is like loving everything or whatever.. Could I ask for a lil more details about it? I've used google but it didn't help.

I am pansexual as well and I always explain it as simply being attracted to people regardless of their sex. Whether they have a penis of vagina isn't of concern or even thought about. Different from bisexual because most that are bisexual have more of an interest in one sex but also are attracted to the other. Hope that clarifies.

That helps quite a bit thank you. *offers cookie* :)

I have always thought of it as being more attracted to people for who they are rather than for their sex. I think the world would be a better place if everyone was pansexual, haha. I don't identify as pansexual, by the way, so I could be wrong, but that is how I've heard it explained. According to the Kinsey scale I fall right between straight and bisexual.

Good reiteration.

WOW vanessa I didn't mean to offend you dumb idiots who have to make everything anti-gays or racist. If you are so worried about that then go take it up with your state.

I know, sorry. I realized after I wrote it that I said pretty much exactly what you said. For some reason in my head it sounded like something different.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH you are a weird person

I was pretty sure that bisexual meant attracted to two different genders, normally female and male, and pansexual meant three or more? (By the way, if you are confused as to what I mean by "more than two genders", gender is not a biological/physical thing, that would be a biological sex, but genders are things like cisgender, genderfluid, agender, bigender, transgender, etc)

The way I understand it , 92, a pansexual person can potentially be attracted to a person of any gender because gender itself is not the thing that is attractive to them.

92- there is only 2 genders last time I checked ?

Fyl, that's embarrassing. :S

Learn how to waistband it OP!

I'm pretty sure they would have noticed even more had he been trying to shove his erection under his waistband.

You're obviously not a good waistbander.

9 - that's why prior planning is super-useful

Waistband it: A technique used by males to conceal an erection. The penis is tucked in between the waistband of a pair of boxers or briefs and the stomach. Sentence: On the long early morning walk to the bathroom from my dorm room, I had to employ the waistband tuck to avoid people seeing the tent I was pitching.

Works every time! Used to have to do it every day, same time in school.

How do you get erections in school? I find it hard to think that anything about sitting in a classroom is sexy.

It's called RBs, or Random Boner Syndrome. It affects most males between the ages of 13 and 65. There's no warning, there's no cause, and there's no cure. It's the male curse; the burden we must bare

They have support groups for RBS, as well as support groups for those living with a RBS sufferer.

It's easy to get a boner in school, or work, or, ..., pretty much everywhere. I used to sit next to this really cute girl who wore these tight sweaters. When she stretched, she would arch her back so her boobs pushed out more, and... Excuse me a moment...

Apparently a classmate in my English class would pet his one eyed snake during class. This could have just been a rumor, but one can never know and I never asked for confirmation. But that was also 8+ years ago so there is no going back and asking.

Oh wow! That's really embarrassing, but depending on how far they were away they may not have really noticed!

How does that help you? It'd freak me out! Imaging my professor naked. Ew.

Shouldn't be so stiff OP. It's not as hard as you think it is.

Sounds like you had a hard time up there.

You are 7... o.O

What the hell I was 8 awhile ago. Now I look like an ass.

But now you're 8 again...

I think the FML gods are trolling us.

And so, the wooden dick jokes begin..

Awe come Tourette'sguy don't be such a stiff.

Gah...I have pun-writer's block, so I'll just yell 'boner', laugh, then casually walk away.

Awe come Tourettesguy your being hard headed.

Sexy pic bro

If it was impressive, that might be a good thing.

OP in Ron Burgundy voice: "Don't act like you're not impressed..."

Well that's a childhood memory you'll never forget. You made sure nobody else would either. Bravo.

I can see the 25th high school reunion... Hey Phil! Do you remember Eric, "The Erection" Thompson?