Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
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Top comments
MrBoredGuy 1
Headphones, bro?
bizarre_ftw 22
Say it's pop music
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Comments (214)
tyrn46 0
First
tandem123 6
That could have been a good thing to close te window
ohjessica 11
Yeah I'm sure his mom was climbing through the window.
Jonkbaby 23
he said his mom not his neighbor
tandem123 6
Window on the Internet, not his bedroom window.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Close the window, you're letting the Internet get out.
Mr_Trollsome 1
What an amateur...
iliketurdles 7
9, so you're neighbours climb through your window? Interesting..
Vball6 19
Is it just me.. Or has there already been an FML that is same EXACT to this one..
pilotx 0
Ikr and I love how ur comments disliked from all the haters that are pcs.
fromthesuck 8
Or how about use head phones instead of risking it being heard through the door... With ear buds you can hear it and keep an ear open for activity outside the door. Although... Who needs to hear **** anyway.
chell1894 13
Has any one heard of a locked door? There's not a lock on the door to just look cool.
thaCODgod 4
8 and 9 are fools
shyeahh_fml 19
My door doesn't have a lock.
StalinsHeir 1
But then he'd loose his spot
DioMaledica 14
87-They're recycling. It's good for the environment. :D
rogerusmc23 0
Fromthesuck sounds like he know what he's talking about.. Been there before eh?
Meowingtons500 18
Just explain to mommy dearest that it was your pillow pet, Sparkles, and that she needn't worry. :)
Jonkbaby 23
tell her you're watching Women's Tennis
RadikulRam 16
#8 #9 are either complete computer noobs or comics.
Unstoppabl3 0
Creeeper!
LezBiHonest 7
Where can I get one of those pillows?
nolarboot 10
It is for situations such as these that Alt+F4 comes in handy.
MrBoredGuy 1
Headphones, bro?
EvilTwerp 12
If he wore headphones, would that be better? What if he couldn't hear is mom and she walked in on him looking at ****? I would say extremely low volume that way if the sound continues, it's pretty easy to cover it up
systems7 2
Only use one headphone leave the other half off your ear.
EvilTwerp 12
That works as well
bananagrams 9
Honestly, would turning off the sound take away from the experience that much?
nava1210 12
Damn you guys are experts at how to watch **** without getting caught..just saying
bizarre_ftw 22
May I suggest headphones, a cellphone (if you want to go that far), and to take up the practice of taking 'baths' The sound of the water allows you to have the volume up as high as you like and will mask any other 'sounds' *cough* that might occur Also, added bonus of a locked door and a reason to say "no mum, you Can't come in"
Shadow4i5 3
Yay that's too much jus stick w/ the headphones
MrMassive 0
In your bathroom without headphones on... Tell your mom you're taking a crap. Simple as that.
Kazakuya 3
Doesn't matter, watched ****.
ukrage 1
Flawless victory
Gyromee 0
I say just use earbuds and only wear one.
Isaac_The_Man 0
Only use one headphone and put the other one off your ear. And put the volume down a bit..
iimthomas 0
the good ol' one ear trick, seriously, we are born with this trick, come on.. lol
Glidefedt 6
Like the baws I am, I can do it with a gaming headset and still hear them comig.
death_dolphin24 0
Fack you bitches, I have an iTouch... myself get it?
mimerino 9
38, personally, sound is a huge factor in my experience. OP, is there a way you can sit where your mom doesn't see the screen? It seems like you have a laptop. Then even if you don't hear her coming, she won't see what you're watching. But I do recommend mobile ****.
ikickgingers 15
Happens to the best of us. Well, not me because I have my own place... Perhaps - invest in headphones. :) *edit* 3 beat me :/
TherealMort 0
You probably wouldn't have gotten in trouble if you invited your mom:) Waits for thumbsdowns
RedPillSucks 33
We'll save the beating for later... erm..., wait. What kind of "beating" did you have in mind?
KiddNYC1O 22
On your own in New York? You're doing well, IKG.
mnmolino 14
Don't watch **** when your moms home?
louchios 0
No you can when she's home but be careful as ****
saIty 17
Oh man, not to mention the adrenaline rush.
ty1992_farmlife 12
You can watch **** when your mom is home, jus be careful. Try hitting the X button tho.. that helps alot lol
tbone87 1
Lol @ saltys pic of neighbors wifi!!
grovdaddy 1
Don't watch **** at all! Haha
heyguysitsjosh 8
Get a girlfriend?
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
Don't do it while your mum's home, man. If she's rarely out then AT LEAST wait until she's asleep. AND USE HEADPHONES. Jeez.
onlychildFTW 34
Never do it when mums home. And if you do, head phones and face the screen away from an opening door. And window if bedroom is on the ground level.
ZzkekekezZ 0
You mean **** not jeez ?
i_hate_cats 3
What's the fun in that?
geod69 8
Dude there is a mute button
bizarre_ftw 22
Say it's pop music
25shark 5
Or rap
perdix 31
Your mom will go, "Yeah, right! Cherry-popping music!"
Person1233 13
With some of the things said in rap songs, you would think it's a porno.
illmatic2 16
Well there is that one song "Pause 4 Porno" in The Chronic 2001.
yumgranolabar 5
The saddest part is that that would work.
thisisafunnyname 12
i read pop music as poop music o_O
ashleys562165 0
Hahaha I read it like that at first too!!!
CANNIBALx 0
The complexity of pop music is more so in the production of the song. The lyrics are usually simple and must simply be catchy and have a nice hook. Some pop songs are actually quite witty or contain clever metaphors or double meanings, though they are very rare. And it does seem like pop music has went down the drain in very recent years with all of the overuse of auto tune.
ZzkekekezZ 0
Mom: can I watch the pop music video? You : oh crap
limblessorphan 4
Grrr!!! arf arf arf!!!
scrappy23 4
that's gona be a fun conversation starter at the dinner table.
hedgehog80 0
You need to practice using alt+F4 quickly.
coolboy675 16
Since it's a laptop, it'd probably be ALT+FN+F4. I prefer using Ctrl+W however :c
DKParth13 5
Looks like these guys are experienced !!
Daydreemdie 0
Ow- that suck to be you... That really is an FML I feel bad for you dude