Today, I was diagnosed with vertigo. It's like being perpetually drunk, but without any of the fun bits. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, thanks to my new anti-anxiety meds, I am finally no longer agoraphobic. Today also marks 5 weeks of constant diarrhea due to the same meds. Guess who's not leaving the house anytime soon. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
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Top comments
Mikko8 15
Can actual drinking reverse that?
suxs4ulol 22
I think we should try this. Any victims? I mean volunters?
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Comments (54)
EricHassli94 4
That really sucks
WCARlover 35
Is that why it's in Fmylife? Wouldn't have guessed...
Danny0522 8
No shit
theaws0m3guy 4
Now you're like Lucille Austero. :)
smileyxo4 5
I have vertigo
Malinkrot 3
#25 I was going to say the same thing and you beat me to it, AD is the best show ever created!
justkillyourself 2
10/10 excellent job OP, you trolled all these idiots and got them ro reply
theaws0m3guy 4
46- IT'S AMAZING! ;)
Mikko8 15
Can actual drinking reverse that?
suxs4ulol 22
I think we should try this. Any victims? I mean volunters?
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Drinking can make it much worse, and in some cases can even cause the vertigo in the first place.
wisese 0
Drinking definitely makes it worse. I can't lie down if I get a vertigo attack while drunk. Everything spins around me and feels like a rollercoaster. No fun. Anyway, there's exercises you can do to help with vertigo. OP: move your eyes (not head, just eyes) up and down 20 times, slowly then getting faster. Then do this moving your eyes side to side. Do the same exercises with your head. Hold your finger at arms' length and focus on it. Bring it one foot closer to your face and focus. Do this back and forth 20 times.
j_cat187 20
Thx 4 the tip
juliaaalove 8
15- you're hair reminds me of a tree
gkffmfnfnfnxxnxn 0
Thanks for the advise
Gubbon 17
What do you think?
warplayer 2
I've had it, and it's the worst. Luckily you only have to deal with the crazy dizzy/spinny feeling for about 2-3 days, then that will start to clear up and you will just feel funny for a few more days. After that you are golden. :) Avoid situations that will lead to ear infections, and consider cleaning them more regularly (with ear drops like Debrox). And stop using Q-Tips daily. I'm actually surprised you had the energy to make this post. When I had it I was stuck laying down on the couch for 3 days.
wisese 0
Actually, there's different kinds of vertigo. I've had the really bad but temporary kind you describe; it lasted for over a week. But I also have chronic positional vertigo which is more permanent; it comes and goes, and only lasts for a few minutes at a time. OP doesn't describe enough to tell what kid of vertigo they have.
atraptotheeast 10
my mom and I both have CPV, and it's horrible. there's ways to habituate your body to the spells, but they never completely go away.
evilplatypus 39
I have Meniere's disease which gives me vertigo. I think vertigo is fun (when you aren't at work or someplace dangerous). Everything is all wonky, like when you've taken oxycodone. As a side note, I also think the dizzy part is the best part of being drunk.
Okayitwasme 0
I have maneris = I think that is how it is spelt? it's vertigo, with a twist! I can't watch 3 d or go on any carnival rides. Long car rides make me sick. I don't think I can fly either. My whole family lives 5 hrs away from me. I moved before I got it. I walk into walls regularly. Stumble over things and shouldn't drive. It comes and goes.
JustKittyKat 24
I have undiagnosed vertigo. I have all of the symptoms. I haven't had it for a couple days. But there was a course of five months in which I had it every single time I tried to stand. I read that slowly looking from side to side, up and down, with only your eyes helps. It helps me.
xSonic 9
Being drunk isn't fun when yo can't even remember it
xSonic 9
Being drunk isn't fun when yo can't even remember it
ifailplzinsultme 0
but you know it happened because you find the STDs
A100893 30
Try not to move too fast. It'll get better eventually, I hope. Good luck OP.
WCARlover 35
At least it's temporary, hope it gets better soon
anongrl 2
Vertigo doesn't go away... It's incurable, but it just doesn't bother you all the time.
jman3113 4
WCAR FTW!!
Pentium_4 27
Vertigo can be really interesting when you close your eyes and let your mind wander
akito11 5
ADD??
ICATiger 13
So is your vision permantly blurry??
desireev 18
That would suck.. Hope you get better soon! Then you can go have a drink with some friends. :)
McDonaldsworker 4
Hell yeah! Go get wasted at a party, after you get better from feeling sick!
ehtheis518 0
It don't clear up and the worst thing to do would be get drunk