Today, I was diagnosed with vertigo. It's like being perpetually drunk, but without any of the fun bits. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, thanks to my new anti-anxiety meds, I am finally no longer agoraphobic. Today also marks 5 weeks of constant diarrhea due to the same meds. Guess who's not leaving the house anytime soon. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
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Top comments
Mikko8 15
Can actual drinking reverse that?
suxs4ulol 22
I think we should try this. Any victims? I mean volunters?
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Comments (54)
upyourzlolz 11
The best way to get rid of vertigo is to listen to dubstep, go on roller coasters, drive really fast, throw up, drink your own throw up, make a shock video, and share.
RickGGJR 0
Wtf?
upyourzlolz 11
Why not? I had vertigo. This completely safe guide will always help relieve your alignments.
McDonaldsworker 4
Share what? O by the way this is my 50th comment on this site
_srsly_fml 4
That's not even funny.
eag05 0
.//_ like a boss!
TheLoneWandererX 2
The reincarnation of Satan is here!
ninjuh_wingman 29
It can have fun bits if you make them happen.
dee13 2
I have that too, it sucks :(
DocBastard 40
I once told a patient's husband that his wife had acute angina. He said, "Yeah, and she has nice ****, too. But what about her chest pain?"
BenignSociopath 10
And the question I must ask is, where is he from that a doctor complimenting on his wife's ****** common and accepted bedside manner? ...because I might need to start going there. "Well Minx, you seem to have bronchitis... But your rack is fantastic!"
ladyLALAA 29
Did you even read the comment? It does not mention the word ******!!
wisese 0
Sigh. 42, the entire point of the Doc's comment was that the patient's husband thought he was referring to her ****** as cute.
JukeboxValkyrie 19
Your sex life must be terrible then. Giving motion sickness a new meaning.
SplashMash 9
Hope you feel better OP! I had a bad case of vertigo last year. I was in bed for 3 days before I could walk straight again without an overwhelming urge to puke.
SunnyMoon_fml 0
I have the same thing and it more like being on the tea cup ride at full speed all day-_-
GODert 8
My grandma was diagnosed with vertigo and almost had a stroke it could be serious stuff.
Mf2307 15
ive experienced a little bit of it and it totally sucks
Mister_Triangle 21
I just have to say that reading all of these comments while thinking of the U2 song Vertigo gives everything a new and hilarious meaning.
bostongirl77 5
I had that four years ago while pregnant... it could be worse... but fyl, its horrible.