Sex, Accident, Relatable, Awkward and Love: You tried!

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 937

You deserved it 50 913

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 527

You deserved it 5 442

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 355

You deserved it 5 681

By seminole711 - 20/09/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for 20 minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 112

You deserved it 6 963

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 807

You deserved it 4 151

By dating a manchild - 01/06/2012 23:50 - Denmark - Hellerup

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 861

You deserved it 7 366

By lollipopp56 - 26/03/2009 06:09 - Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149 323

You deserved it 13 803

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 720

You deserved it 9 183

By Nosexytime - 14/01/2010 15:56 - United States

Today, for my boyfriend's 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit, and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 670

You deserved it 5 353

Are you experienced?

By still laughing - 28/08/2015 21:48 - United States - Providence

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 474

You deserved it 5 087

DJ Perfectionist

By ImOverHere - 02/09/2012 16:56 - United States - Whitehouse

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 019

You deserved it 3 103

phunk 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 19:53

Contrary to popular belief most tables aren't designed to hold a person's weight, that is unless it's a large banquet table from Ikea, in which case they probably shouldn't make lingerie in those sizes. For the world's sake.

Hannah_fml 0

Monday 16 February 2009 2:54

He was excited all right

Comments

kcmcg96 2

Thursday 10 May 2012 15:17

Dumbass

leahree 23

Saturday 16 March 2013 18:22

If i were him, i wouldn't know whether to laugh or ask if you were okay

lilsawty2 8

Thursday 28 March 2013 21:34

I can't stop laughing as I picture this. XD maye buy a stronger table?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 4 May 2013 18:11

Everyone saying OP needs to lose weight needs to stop and consider some things: First, we don't know how much OP actually weights, and second, we don't know the type of table she was on or how sturdy it really was. I've seen tables collapse under people that weigh like 120 pounds because they aren't built solid. I doubt we're talking abouta top-of-the-line oak table here; it's probably one of those cheap tables that would collapse under anything put on it besides dishes and silverware. So yeah, FYL OP.

Sir_Swaggington 6

Wednesday 5 June 2013 15:07

You couldn't wait until he finished dinner?

The_9th_Doctor 18

Tuesday 10 September 2013 23:57

did you say meow then meouch?

Kavka 15

Wednesday 19 August 2015 16:09

my bet is that it was a really shitty table...

mixximoo 24

Friday 13 November 2015 1:50

Is crawling across a table considered sexy these days?

forest_2015 14

Thursday 24 December 2015 23:14

everyone is commenting on how much OP weighs when the table could have been old. Don't automatically assume OP was overweight even though it said "the table collapsed under my weight."