If that was my student, I would make him. Whether he can swim or not is inconsequential.

If you did that and they were injured in anyway, you could expect to be sued and possibly fired.

Pretty sure he was joking #26, calm down

Failing his smart ass would probably help

#27 you say that as if she's worked up

If you find the bullet, you'll also find your name written on the side of it

I think this FML needs a follow up.

Op probably had both in one hand. Needless to say op was being careless. Oh well.

Bullets are pretty heavy, especially the older ones. As for texture, rocks can be pretty smooth too. Regardless, OP must've had one in each hand, like #8 said.

That's not quite what #8 said.

I have some Civil War bullets: they feel like light stones.

I actually have a civil war era bullet, it's not as weird as you think it weights about the same as a small rock and if you Google civil war bullet they even kind of look like rocks

It's like when you put the milk in the cabinet and the cereal in the fridge.

When holding two things in two different hands I often confuse the two. I could be holding my phone and a butter knife with butter on it and after being distracted would try to butter bread with my phone. Regardless of size or shape. Hopefully OP was able to get the bullet back.

#71: or when you lick the basketball and throw the ice cream in the hoop. *sigh*...

Why is #12 down voted?? There aren't any grammatical mistakes and she's saying the same thing everyone else did. This community.... Dx

Nobody better lay a finger on my butterfingers.

Not quite sure why this got so many dislikes?

#54 because it had nothing to do with the FML

#58 Actually it has everything TO do with it, it's not just a candy bar. From Google: butterfingers 1. a clumsy person, especially one who fails to hold a catch.

Except he didn't fail to hold a catch. He had it in his hands and threw it. Butterfingers is irrelevant.

62, I'm well aware of the definition. But much like 76 said, where does it say he failed to catch something

Butterfingers refers to when someone is clumsy, OP isn't clumsy, just retarded

Does "a clumsy person" aply or not?

Butterfingers!

He just passed the rock to the person next to him. They get blamed. The end.

Easy, he pretended the teacher was a rock and threw her in the pond.

Fine 72. Threw HIM into the pond. Happy now?

84, why are you assuming the teacher is male?

The androgynous teaching vessel was identified as a rock and tossed in the water.

Why are you referring to the teacher as an object?

He didn't talk his way out of it, because the teacher shot him with an "Obama Age" bullet.

Not like they could. They don't have bullets anymore!

Dick move, man. Dick move.

or take responsibility for your actions instead of blaming someone else.

If all else fails, Ebay.