Work, Smells and Farts: Best I can do is…

Best I can do is…

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 05:00

Today, while working in my pawn shop, I was showing jewelry to a distinguished lady. I had to fart. I tried to wait. It was too much, so I let it slip silently. As she handled a $2000 necklace, I realized that the 2-foot counter between us would never save her from the foul poisonous cloud that had formed. She realized it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 351

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 036

You deserved it 3 411

By combovercaiti_ - 25/01/2019 12:00

Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 281

You deserved it 358

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 446

You deserved it 4 980

Elephant

By frank - 26/03/2021 23:01

Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 457

By fittingroompotty - 02/03/2009 13:38 - United States

Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 569

You deserved it 4 988

Fartmageddon.

By dusty bean - 18/11/2017 05:00

Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 711

You deserved it 599

Sorry, I…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 827

You deserved it 6 950

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 607

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 499

You deserved it 10 826

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 20:38 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 873

You deserved it 5 180

RichardPencil 30

Monday 20 September 2021 5:11

At least you didn't shit your pants, which is the way most fart FMLs end. Don't worry, she'd wade through a cloud of brimstone to get a $10,000 necklace for $2k.

ElTorro5150 4

Tuesday 21 September 2021 22:47

She’s jewelry shopping in a pawn shop, she isn’t that distinguished. And she probably expected some kind of stink anyway.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 20 September 2021 5:11

At least you didn't shit your pants, which is the way most fart FMLs end. Don't worry, she'd wade through a cloud of brimstone to get a $10,000 necklace for $2k.