Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML
Today, I dumped my boyfriend for cheating on me and he actually asked if we weren’t dating could we still have sex, as a FWB type of thing. I blame his mother, she must have done something to screw him up, there’s no way idiocy like his occurs naturally. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, my husband accused me of cheating on him and demanded to look through my phone. When he found nothing, he admitted to having his first gay experience this weekend and just wanting something to “even the field” before telling me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
It's ridiculous the rationality people come up with for cheating on people.
KK3137 31
Well, I guess he can just backwards roll right out of your life, then.
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Comments (92)
okokalright 15
The excuses some people come up with a just plain ridiculous. Don't waste your time on an asshole like that OP
greeneyedx 23
I feel fair saying I hope you mean ex boyfriend, OP. FYL
THEDUDE1553566 24
That was already said by #10
MRSwick2525 23
Its going to be said a million more times as well #47.
greeneyedx 23
Lol so? Not everyone will see someone already said the same thing. Oh well!
tibtak_fml 10
You guys don't have Snapchat?
Grayness_ 26
What... What does that have to do with anything? Sexting and sex are two different things.
FlyestBoy 11
Find someone who wants you for you. not just for sex.
mimirawr14 17
Sounds like what my ex did to me while I was 8 months pregnant with his son. Except I was just in to much pain to give him any so he went to a so called friend and got some from her.
Catdragon 40
I'm so sorry. did you work it out? if not, collect child support.
Dovahkiin_1997 22
"My ex did to me"
Lalala579121 28
34 - Maybe she has a thing for the letter x?
VideoGameGangsta 5
you deserved it how dare you make him go sexless for 8 months
EarlFug 19
That actually would've been a better excuse -- "hey I tried to suck my own **** but couldn't!"
kellyem2 20
If he could suck his own **** that would probably solve this whole sex deprivation thing for the both of you.
mustangbravo 27
If he can't even admit that he ****** up maybe it's time for a change.
deathshead 19
he literaly ****** up.
sstahpp 33
LITERALLY
1dvs_bstd 41
"... If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own ****." lol Terrific sentence.. well regardless, you can tell him to go **** himself.
1nertia 15
If his mental gymnastics were physical... Realistically he'd have no legs.