Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML
Today, I dumped my boyfriend for cheating on me and he actually asked if we weren’t dating could we still have sex, as a FWB type of thing. I blame his mother, she must have done something to screw him up, there’s no way idiocy like his occurs naturally. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, my husband accused me of cheating on him and demanded to look through my phone. When he found nothing, he admitted to having his first gay experience this weekend and just wanting something to “even the field” before telling me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
It's ridiculous the rationality people come up with for cheating on people.
KK3137 31
Well, I guess he can just backwards roll right out of your life, then.
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Comments (92)
RedPillSucks 33
drop him like the hot mess he is
pete9913 23
I guess he'd better learn to suck it, if he wants it sucked.
jake131000 21
Technically it is in the bible...but only for marriage. 1st corinithians chapter 7 Verse 5-7
RandKP 21
I have a word for you that you might want to look up: Context. Unless the reader is familiar with that verse, or decides to look it up, your post could look like your saying one of several different things. We all have a choice. Think about what you post, or be one of the D-Bags that just spew out whatever they feel like. Don't be the D-Bag.
tarlax 11
And noone even mentioned the bible, or christianity, or anything. WTF 52, keep that shit to yourself.
kellyem2 20
You're implying that the poster is christian. Don't recall them saying anything about that. Maybe let's not push our views on other people?
Zmanzem4 17
You should put him in chastity and then throw away the key.
pandor_fml 24
Well I think he can already do those sorts of gymnastics, sounds like a total cocksucker to me
wordsandzombies 12
Ex-boyfriend I hope! :( sorry OP.
rockurheart 9
Good freakin lord, how old is he 5? with the sexual wants of an 18 year old? He can just fap while you're gone if he wants pleasure that bad jesus. sorry for what happened OP. Maybe you're better off dumping someone like that, but thats just me..
canadiangirl98 9
I guess he stumbled into that split
ouimetnick 10
On that bombshell, he should also be able to go **** himself.
trucker2 33
New boyfriend at the top of the list