Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML
Today, I dumped my boyfriend for cheating on me and he actually asked if we weren’t dating could we still have sex, as a FWB type of thing. I blame his mother, she must have done something to screw him up, there’s no way idiocy like his occurs naturally. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, my husband accused me of cheating on him and demanded to look through my phone. When he found nothing, he admitted to having his first gay experience this weekend and just wanting something to “even the field” before telling me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
It's ridiculous the rationality people come up with for cheating on people.
KK3137 31
Well, I guess he can just backwards roll right out of your life, then.
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Comments (92)
danihammer 4
Guys like him are exhausting. He'll probably do that to another girl, and the next. Some people are selfish and impossible to please in that way.
KingLewisII 34
seems like he won a gold medal in being a douchebag
bellakideaux 12
Haha! Classic! Sorry for your asshat of a fella OP
dakid87 10
You meant your "ex" right?
writerchic85 26
I know someone who went to art school and sculpted a beautiful dragon head for one of her projects. Got a D on it. Meanwhile someone else in her class took a dead cat from a science lab, gift wrapped it, and left it on the bus for someone to find so they could record their reactions and got an A. Art is retarded.
Lalala579121 28
I will never understand how people comment on the wrong FML.
novdestiny 23
you commented on the wrong post there, #27.
elsuperloco68 12
A man has needs!!!
elsuperloco68 12
A man has needs!!!
ProfessorMctitie 20
Tell him he has a baby penis
LadyLuck93 20
Seriously he couldn't wait 2 ******* weeks? thats such a cheap move from him, unbelievable.
CaptainFluffyPaw 19
It's probably for the best. You don't need that kind of stupidity in your life OP.