By BadKarma - United States - Douglas

When it rains, it pours.

Today, my washing machine, dryer, vacuum cleaner, and laptop all stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2232

You deserved it

144

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Money

BO Central

And today, on Dr Phil…

Decisions, decisions

By fuck you btichass cuntshit - United States - Shelburne

Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML

I agree, your life sucks

22738

You deserved it

2698

Favorite

By woofwoof - Turkey - Izmir

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31944

You deserved it

2982

Favorite

By Trainspotting - United Kingdom

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

40666

You deserved it

3712

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By fistpumpin4life - France

Today, at work I asked a woman how she was doing. When she replied, I didn't understand her, and instead of asking her what she said, I just replied with, "oh that's good." What she told me that I didn't understand was that her husband had just died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10556

You deserved it

33257

Favorite

By anon - United States - San Francisco

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29760

You deserved it

4742

Favorite

By biwhat - Australia - Bassendean

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

I agree, your life sucks

47772

You deserved it

13983

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By washed - United States

Today, I learned that my boyfriend hides valuables in the washing machine under dirty clothes when leaving town for the weekend. I learned this AFTER I'd done a load of laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30951

You deserved it

3358

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/12/2020 22:58 - United States

Family matters

Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

860

You deserved it

Favorite

By maharaja

Today, multiple people informed my girlfriend that I’m cheating on her. I’m not. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1823

You deserved it

101

Favorite

By poopiemanlol - Canada

Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41470

You deserved it

11622

Favorite

By Danielle - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55678

You deserved it

4050

Favorite

By "leahkasscar"

Today, I'm stuck in a car with my sister who is currently having a screaming match with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1860

You deserved it

132

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while cuddling, my boyfriend excused himself to get a napkin. When he came back, he nervously admitted he'd got a booger in my hair. He then couldn't get it completely out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28534

You deserved it

2736

Favorite

By Grubendol - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27539

You deserved it

5981

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16191

You deserved it

34361

Favorite

By HipstrCharizard - 7/11/2020 23:02 - United States - Nobleboro

Double trouble

Today, I found out I might have Covid due to my manager's roommate getting it by being irresponsible. Two days ago, I found out I may have hep A from getting takeout at a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

954

You deserved it

Favorite

By Leyla - Canada - Brampton

Get ready to rumble!

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18279

You deserved it

34227

Favorite

By anaph0re - France

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8660

You deserved it

21454

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10616

You deserved it

29184

Favorite

By beateneggs - United States

Ouch

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24340

You deserved it

3411

Favorite

By Bliggins - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44867

You deserved it

2941

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By BilletsDoudous - France

Today, I'm a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting guy of about 30 gets on board with two huge bags. Worried, I keep an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33346

You deserved it

3370

Favorite

By Noname - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32338

You deserved it

92035

Favorite

By Stixchop - United States

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21251

You deserved it

54812

Favorite

By NoTeddies - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear keyring. I had to explain that although many grown women like cuddly toys, I don't. And even if I did, a filthy, soaking wet bear he found in a puddle on the street is not a nice gesture, despite his suggestion I can just wash it in the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10909

You deserved it

1277

Favorite

By "crazycrochetlady"

Today, I'm 7 weeks pregnant. For the first time in a week I feel well enough to eat something that isn't cheerios, a bagel, or crackers . I woke up 2 hours after going to bed with the shits. I'm almost convinced this kid hates me already. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2138

You deserved it

231

Favorite

By broke_otaku - United States

Caught

Today, my boyfriend asked me to sniff his armpit to see if he was the one who smelled. I did because we are that comfortable with us. After a couple of sniffs I heard laughter. I forgot I was sitting in his living room and his family was watching me the whole time. I am now the BO finder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13159

You deserved it

49070

Favorite

By AgentOrion - United States - Bessemer

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42165

You deserved it

5886

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to explain to a customer that she can't use the bathroom while going through the drive-thru. I still don't understand what exactly she had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5717

You deserved it

420

Favorite

By MicachuPikachu - United States - Independence

Today, to make it seem like the customers actually liked me, I told my coworkers I got tipped $12. Sadly, that "$12 tip" came from my own pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36939

You deserved it

13520

Favorite

By missmom83 - United States - Torrington

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41003

You deserved it

5466

Favorite

By done - United States - North Las Vegas

Excuse you?

Today, after spending years volunteering at community theatres and being accepted into a prestigious university for theatrical design, my public high school gave me a scholarship. All my mother could say was "I'm sorry they wasted their money on you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

3152

You deserved it

180

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48637

You deserved it

3421

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48453

You deserved it

6122

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48505

You deserved it

2963

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Milton

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35468

You deserved it

2631

Favorite

By Derp McShitstain - United Kingdom - Saint Helens

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28626

You deserved it

2751

Favorite

By footscratching - United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32454

You deserved it

4459

Favorite

By jll14 - Malaysia - Kota Kinabalu

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42527

You deserved it

2824

Favorite

By Sad preggo

Today, my attention-seeking sister-in-law came to my 20 week ultrasound and afterward, without my knowledge, took it upon herself to announce the gender to Facebook and call the entire family, telling them "we're having a boy" nullifying any need for the announcement I had spent 4 weeks planning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7614

You deserved it

730

Favorite

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Top comments

By JackFaire | 27

#7684090 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 13:14

If another story gets posted "We had a power outage and my SO doesn't understand why nothing works" I'm going to lose it.

By Charlie Given | 23

#7684147 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 15:08

Check out your fuses also many appliances have their own fuses built in, sounds like you had a power surge

COMMENTS

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7680204 - Tuesday 21 August 2018 14:59

Sounds like you might have blown a fuse.

By JackFaire | 27

#7684090 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 13:14

If another story gets posted "We had a power outage and my SO doesn't understand why nothing works" I'm going to lose it.

By real life problems | 26

#7684097 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 13:32

Did you then spontaneously combust?

By Charlie Given | 23

#7684147 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 15:08

Check out your fuses also many appliances have their own fuses built in, sounds like you had a power surge

By devi_916 | 39

#7684167 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 15:45

Damn, you can't even search craigslist to find replacement appliances.

By BlueSteele220 | 30

#7684174 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 16:08

Maybe you should have just paid your electric bill. Oh, and check the fridge..

By ironicsarcasm | 8

#7684192 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 16:58

Are the lights off too?

By Mungolikecandy | 19

#7684226 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 18:25

Aliens!

By wanted_2_want | 40

#7684460 - Wednesday 29 August 2018 6:10

They’re all in a strike.
“What do we want ?!!” ...

By saffy66 | 34

#7685116 - Thursday 30 August 2018 10:48

Did you pay your last electricity bill?