By BadKarma - United States - Douglas

When it rains, it pours.

Today, my washing machine, dryer, vacuum cleaner, and laptop all stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2210

You deserved it

144

Favorite

Money

Grow up

Modern Family

Not now, please

By kids are meh - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I told my cousin it would be okay if he stayed the weekend after a fight with his wife. He didn't tell me he was bringing his 4 kids. They've watched funny cat videos for hours and they laugh like maniacs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12017

You deserved it

1330

Favorite

By fuck you walmart - United States

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51111

You deserved it

3401

Favorite

By stoprubbingitinmyface - United States - Tacoma

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34375

You deserved it

4687

Favorite

By SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! - United States - Gurnee

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36172

You deserved it

4236

Favorite

By I'm disgusting

Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

504

You deserved it

3019

Favorite

By Msrebound

Today, even my 11-year-old noticed how much my boyfriend constantly reminisces about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4793

You deserved it

583

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my roomate's cats pooped on the floor again. He refuses to clean it up saying it will be easier to clean in 48 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29827

You deserved it

2681

Favorite

By Eric - 14/3/2020 06:05

Shut up and take it

Today my college professor told me that I ask him too many questions. Apparently, my college tuition fee doesn't include learning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1504

You deserved it

211

Favorite

By Deborah - United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16735

You deserved it

40223

Favorite

By djangle - United States

Today, my marriage counselor told me I have the communication skills of a Lou Gehrig's patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11211

You deserved it

17004

Favorite

By Now What - United States - South Otselic

Today, my boyfriend told me he only loves me sometimes. He explained what days he chooses to love me and what days he doesn't want to. I told him that's not how it works. He disagreed. He's 27. He still doesn't understand why this is a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13728

You deserved it

1287

Favorite

By amandanoelle - United States - Hot Springs National Park

Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML

I agree, your life sucks

11543

You deserved it

1728

Favorite

By didi - France

Today, at the supermarket everybody was staring at me. After ten minutes, I realized that my umbrella was still open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17798

You deserved it

19480

Favorite

By DaggerHole - Australia

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40038

You deserved it

16408

Favorite

By szinna - United States

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said, "Is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" When I answered yes, he turned and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57921

You deserved it

6751

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Miami

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34879

You deserved it

4207

Favorite

By KJS - United States

Today, I got up on stage excited to recite a spoken word piece that I worked on and memorized for about 20 hours, neglecting other obligations like studying for an exam the next day. I blanked out in the middle of the performance in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24191

You deserved it

7038

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I was in the middle of a wank when my home's back door, which is always locked, suddenly opened and someone walked in. I’m not sure who was more surprised: me or the new maintenance guy who saw me wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3219

You deserved it

608

Favorite

By steven - United States - Orinda

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19149

You deserved it

34271

Favorite

By ThatsIncentive - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6880

You deserved it

1112

Favorite

By engaged - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

I agree, your life sucks

113861

You deserved it

24169

Favorite

By Thai rice mistake - United States - Oakland

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30713

You deserved it

18921

Favorite

By IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50508

You deserved it

5327

Favorite

By hoogimo

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29221

You deserved it

8632

Favorite

By stop thief - United States - Aurora

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43937

You deserved it

6079

Favorite

By howdoesthatmakesense - United States - San Francisco

Today, we were doing research on contraceptives in class. Afterwards, the girl next to me starts explaining how "cringey" and "grossed out" she gets when she sees/hears "the words for the private parts." She then tells me all about her getting her period that morning in explicit detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13304

You deserved it

1073

Favorite

By PainStressLife - United States - Dublin

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

I agree, your life sucks

39240

You deserved it

3339

Favorite

By young and dumb - United States - Trenton

Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13611

You deserved it

3183

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38919

You deserved it

3148

Favorite

By Amberizzle - United States

Today, it is my three-year-anniversary with my boyfriend. I asked if he had planned anything for us, and he said yes. My parents volunteered to watch our daughter, I got all excited, and apparently our "plans" are to watch a football game. What do I get to do? Make sandwiches. For him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38721

You deserved it

8516

Favorite

By hesitator - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Sex vs. housework

Today, I got excited over a canceled booty call, just so I wouldn't have to clean the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4788

You deserved it

981

Favorite

By CathyMary - United States - New York

Today, my date asked me if I enjoyed golden showers. We were in the middle of making out, and it was our first date, which I thought was going well. I guess when things seem too good to be true, they really are. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1949

You deserved it

218

Favorite

By disney - United States

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12823

You deserved it

43352

Favorite

By feelthelove - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28429

You deserved it

5433

Favorite

By "Lifefail887"

Today, after buying a new pair of prescription glasses, I went to the beach. The ocean now has a new pair of glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3837

You deserved it

2259

Favorite

By mrnikc - 24/3/2020 02:04 - United States

Knowledge is power

Today, my mother told me the sun was the largest planet in the solar system. When I told her it was a star, she accused me of lying. We had to bring Google into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1596

You deserved it

112

Favorite

By forever_young - United States - Rochester

Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13855

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1786

Favorite

By Baboosh - Canada

Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41998

You deserved it

13878

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/8/2020 20:00

Motherly love

Today, my son handed me a handful of snot he just sneezed out, then went back to playing with his Lego. I had IVF and gave up a career as a lawyer to have this little snot demon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

842

You deserved it

1398

Favorite

By goodjobme - United States - Torrance

Today, I was at church with some friends and our counselor, who had recently came back from Taiwan. I was born there and love to visit, so I immediately exclaimed, "How lucky!" A few seconds of awkward silence later, he said, "I was visiting my dad who was just diagnosed with cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks

19754

You deserved it

2109

Favorite

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Top comments

By JackFaire | 27

#7684090 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 13:14

If another story gets posted "We had a power outage and my SO doesn't understand why nothing works" I'm going to lose it.

By Charlie Given | 23

#7684147 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 15:08

Check out your fuses also many appliances have their own fuses built in, sounds like you had a power surge

COMMENTS

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7680204 - Tuesday 21 August 2018 14:59

Sounds like you might have blown a fuse.

By JackFaire | 27

#7684090 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 13:14

If another story gets posted "We had a power outage and my SO doesn't understand why nothing works" I'm going to lose it.

By real life problems | 26

#7684097 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 13:32

Did you then spontaneously combust?

By Charlie Given | 23

#7684147 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 15:08

Check out your fuses also many appliances have their own fuses built in, sounds like you had a power surge

By devi_916 | 39

#7684167 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 15:45

Damn, you can't even search craigslist to find replacement appliances.

By BlueSteele220 | 30

#7684174 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 16:08

Maybe you should have just paid your electric bill. Oh, and check the fridge..

By ironicsarcasm | 8

#7684192 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 16:58

Are the lights off too?

By melisssa87 | 30

#7684200 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 17:06

Did their guarantee expired yesterday?

By Mungolikecandy | 19

#7684226 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 18:25

Aliens!

By wanted_2_want | 40

#7684460 - Wednesday 29 August 2018 6:10

They’re all in a strike.
“What do we want ?!!” ...