Cars, Sextoys and Transportation: What what?

What what?

By Anonymous - 25/10/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 803

You deserved it 3 512

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Same thing different taste

By Char - 24/09/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - Gravesend

Today, whilst at work, I had a woman come in with a problem with the seat in her car not moving backwards or forwards. There was a dildo stuck in the chair rail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 839

You deserved it 274

By Anonymous - 12/02/2012 04:25 - United States

Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 776

You deserved it 36 060

By someone - 09/12/2013 12:59 - United States - Mogadore

Today, my car broke down. I pulled to the side of the road to call a tow truck. After waiting what seemed like hours, the tow truck showed up, and then ran into the back of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 135

You deserved it 2 862

By ummWhat? - 23/12/2018 02:00

Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 156

You deserved it 201

By ocroyalty - 01/02/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 523

You deserved it 2 665

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 04:01

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 124

By jjuuuuuuulless - 17/12/2018 17:30

Today, my car's parking gear and parking brake failed. I watched as it rolled down a big hill into someone's 2017, $30,000 camper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 283

You deserved it 313

By carless - 15/08/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 899

You deserved it 4 230

By nozVail - 20/11/2015 23:52 - United States

Today, I drove to my cousin's house so he could help me fix my broken tail light. On the way there, I got pulled over for having a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 390

You deserved it 3 730

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 274

You deserved it 2 444

saIty 17

Tuesday 25 October 2011 12:01

Or maybe your car is a Transformer and was playing with itself.

WallyTheWombat 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 12:04

Lol someone put a ***** in your "tailpipe".

Comments

az09909 1

Wednesday 26 October 2011 5:58

That's riDICulous hahaha get it :)

clewie 8

Wednesday 26 October 2011 6:21

I think I know a girl from a few FMLs up that could use that *****.

nubx 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 7:02

At least you won't have to use a shower head now

FrankHotpants 31

Wednesday 26 October 2011 7:11

The olde ***** in the tailpipe...classic.

dansco 24

Wednesday 26 October 2011 8:24

Sorry about that, was a bit drunk last night and couldn't find any bananas lol ;)

CaliforniaErin 13

Wednesday 26 October 2011 12:32

Shove THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

corrinalee3 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 23:57

Did you keep it when you took took it out HAHAH just kidding but watch everyone thumb me down for tht

HauntedOne 3

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:19

Happy "Free *****" day!!!

BloodMonger13 9

Monday 31 October 2011 11:25

did it ever occure to you to just pull it out?

assparaguz 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 3:04

Classic

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The Top

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 151

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 184

The Top

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 246

You deserved it 6 118

Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy or a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 723

You deserved it 6 250

Today, my boyfriend is so terrified of having a baby that he won’t screw me, even though I’m on the pill and we have condoms. He gets so worked up, he usually goes soft before we get the condom on. His oral game is on point but I just want a good hard dicking, is that too much to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 147

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 182

Today, it's been over 3 months since I've had a day off. I suppose that's what happens when you run someone else's business, run your own business, and have a child. I make $410 a week. Rent is $400. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 180

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 155

You deserved it 35 956

What what?

Same thing different taste

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