What's up, doc?

By Anonymous - 07/04/2018 05:00

Spicy
Today, I went to the doctor because of the redness and swelling of my penis, hoping that it was just a minor rash or allergic reaction. Nope! According to the doctor, who could barely stop herself from laughing, it's good old-fashioned friction burns. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 014
You deserved it 1 951

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Top comments

Donut_Wizard 23

Gently apply Tabasco sauce to the affected area 3 times a day until the symptoms subside...

pugs 12

It's because his tinder dates leave before they finish their appetizers.

Comments

WeirdUS 29

And it burns, burns, burns the ring of fire. The ring of fire. All jokes aside what could you be doing to cause friction burns? I hate to ask, but an FML like this can only get funnier with an answer.

pugs 12

It's because his tinder dates leave before they finish their appetizers.

My guess is that he got his dick caught in a belt sander.

JustALesbian 16

Jerked with a sock prolly

Donut_Wizard 23

Gently apply Tabasco sauce to the affected area 3 times a day until the symptoms subside...

It could be worse. You could be writing an FML about how you contracted an STD. But friction burns down under definitely are a feeling best left unfelt.

Ouch, have fun with that. Guessing you had a little too much shower sex lately.

Honestly that is better than most things that could have been. This one is probably the most embarrassing one though

Lobby_Bee 17

Foreplay, you need much more foreplay. Get well soon little buddy.

Invest in lotion and learn to use a looser grip!

bigdaddyeric 35

Use some lotion for all that motion dude!

This is because you need lubrication when you self pleasure. I recommend a little jalapeño juice. Adds a little spice to your love life and the sensation is incredible.

CrazyTrainWreck 19

At that rate you could solve the world's energy crisis all on your own.