Intimacy: What have you done this time?

What have you done this time?

By rockefoe - 15/11/2010 20:49 - United States

Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 640

You deserved it 6 723

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 942

You deserved it 14 580

By bugger - 22/02/2015 17:31

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 056

You deserved it 5 171

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 855

You deserved it 6 304

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 723

You deserved it 5 663

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 653

You deserved it 8 430

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 4 601

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 999

You deserved it 4 667

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 577

You deserved it 2 374

I'll take what I can get

By Queen LaQueefah - 13/09/2015 11:52 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 169

You deserved it 3 392

By fml - 12/08/2011 06:14 - Canada

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 848

You deserved it 30 556

ImaginaryFoe 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:16

Stop giving him ******** after he screws up.

starberries 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:34

My husband tells me he loves me several times a day. Then again, maybe that's why he's the one I married.

Comments

ryliz 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:35

hehe :)

mrbeastmode 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:30

rawr! hahahahaha

login6437 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 3:35

You're hot

nicedevil6 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 18:26

I like ur sexy smile

smokeymcpottt 3

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:39

He's a keeper.

victorioustunnel 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:52

break it off right now. do it right now. GO!!!!

Phustercluck 11

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:57

In my mind, I read this with with an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.

beren456 1

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:18

I'm reading YOUR comment with an Arnold Shwartzaneggar accent

El_Mero_Mero 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:00

haha me too

anon_e_m00se 8

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:08

I love you...

zozbasha 9

Wednesday 17 November 2010 14:41

^win

notsoluckypup 12

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:18

I hate to say this but dump his dumbass xP

El_patron 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:22

GET TO THE CHOPPER!!!!!!!!

harviss12 8

Tuesday 16 November 2010 8:28

love the picture

jacobjackman 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:31

Wow WTF.

YaJustNeverKnow 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:34

the arnold shit cracked me up i read it with the accent before i read the one tellin me to to FML

YaJustNeverKnow 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:36

the arnold stuff cracked me up i read it with the accent before i read the one tellin me to to FML

maphineRAWRS 10

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:39

their all the same... haha

H3ALTHFR3AK 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 10:54

yea, but some are better at hiding it *points at self*

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The Top

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 8 930

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 943

You deserved it 251 934

The Top

Today, it was my first day as a server at Olive Garden and a customer walked out without paying. It was the new manager's first day too, and he decided to write me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 85

Today, I asked my mother to take a picture of me with my phone. She managed to drop the phone thrice within 5 minutes. Now the phone is busted and she refuses to pay for the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 302

You deserved it 707

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 176

You deserved it 12 090

Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 848

You deserved it 3 492

Today, I accidentally Googled "best types of incest" instead of "best types of incense" on the family computer. The parental controls went nuts. I'm now grounded, and my parents are convinced I need psychiatric help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 628

You deserved it 2 801

Follow your dreams, kids!

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 98

What have you done this time?

Same thing different taste

I'll take what I can get

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