Flirting Advice: Breaking the Ice By FML Approved - 27/09/2017 21:00 - United States - New York At least he's got an FML to share! agreeclassic 353 vote type 1 175 Share Tweet Share
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML agreeclassic 1 347 vote type 1 188
Today, I emailed my boss to let her know I was uncomfortable working over what my university’s 28-hour policy allows. She demanded I work 40 hours this week. In any other job, I'd be fine, but if I work over 28 hours, the university will fire me. If I refuse to work 28 hours, my boss will fire me. FML agreeclassic 3 659 vote type 1 237
Today, my roommate and I finally went to the DMV to transfer our vehicle ownership title to our names. On our way out, we joked that we were now responsible for any violations involving our car. We came back to a $35 parking ticket. FML agreeclassic 7 974 vote type 1 23 559
Today, I put a lock on my account because of several unknown purchases for large amounts. Turns out it was my girlfriend, without asking. Who is now mad at me for blocking her parcels. FML agreeclassic 1 910 vote type 1 213
Today, my girlfriend asked me to act more like Homelander in bed. FML agreeclassic 402 vote type 1 143
Today, while walking to work with my best friend, he broke down in tears. I asked what was wrong, and he told me his mom passed away last night. All I could think to do was give him a hug and say I was sorry. Then some assclown walking past said "GAAAYYY!" and walked away laughing hysterically. FML agreeclassic 29 527 vote type 1 1 711
I'm betting he was one of those kids that would burn his hand on a hot pan, and then try again a few minutes later to see if it was still hot.