Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got a talking-to at work from my new manager for eating other peoples' lunches. Immediately afterwards, I watched my manager leave the room, take MY lunch, and begin eating it. Apparently my new manager is the thief, and I'm now the office pariah who gets the blame. Nobody believes me. FML
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, I went out for lunch with one of my co-workers. After work, I talked to one of my friends about how unpleasant the lunch was with him. My co-worker was standing behind me listening in the whole time. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and a few coworkers when my stomach started growling. It was nearly lunchtime and I guess I was hungry. I tried to play it off like it was just a passing rumble, but it wouldn't stop. Eventually, my boss asked if I needed to use the restroom. FML
Today, my boss went out for a few hours. My coworkers saw this as an opportunity to take a 2 hour lunch without getting caught. I stayed at the office to answer the phone, while streaming videos which is a big no no. My boss came back early and caught me, they're all still taking lunch. FML
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Today, I knew my coworker was stealing my lunch, so I made a sandwich with tons of incredibly spicy peppers. He took a bite, shrieked in pain, and ran off sobbing. Unfortunately, he was also in an emergency meeting with an important client, so now my whole department looks like a bunch of morons. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
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Top comments
calivianya 29
What did you do to piss her off, anyway? You totally got framed.
mk58 31
I must say, I love your username.
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Comments (64)
luminos_ 9
Tell your boss you saw someone sprinkle something over his food & you decided to taste it to make sure it's safe.
evilplatypus 38
13 - At my parent's house, whenever we give my father a snack we always take a bite and say we were "checking to see if it's poisonous" or tell him "a mouse must have chewed it" because he used to do that when we were little. Sometimes the stories get a bit more elaborate: "OMG, you should have seen the rat in the pantry! It was the biggest thing I've ever seen, with beady little eyes and a long tail. I found him sitting IN the bag of Oreos, shoving them all in his cheeks, but I took the broom and beat him over the head. I was able to get a few cookies from him but, sadly, they all have a small bite out of them. My life was in mortal danger due to rabies or plague, but I love you dad, so I fought him off for YOU."
chocolateisyum 12
That sucks :( Try and talk to your boss, they might think that you are lying, but just try and explain and offer to buy your boss a new lunch.
rampersaud 10
Maybe she gave you payback for something you did to her that we don't know about.
LarryLaDouche 13
Never **** with a man's sandwich, even if it is by accident.
Ani28 10
You ATE my SANDwich?
GothickNihilist 15
Why are you talking like Mr. Demartino?
BabySparkle1 15
Sounds like he is quoting Ross Geller from Friends.
Ani28 10
*She, but it's cool. And yes, I was :)
BabySparkle1 15
Oh shit. My apologies, my fault for not checking before replying.
matt98_fml 13
Watch out for that coworker. She is very shady.
TheWorldGreatest 8
I honesty hate people like that !
MaJiCiDe 5
I just hate people in general... Saves having to wait for a reason to...
GoodLookingGeese 10
You got busted! Some clever coworker u have there.
poccocurantes 7
That's going to be a hard one to top. Just put some eye drops in her coffee one morning and snicker quietly to yourself as she runs to the bathroom.
redbluegreen 40
Poisoning someone is really a poor and dangerous way to get revenge.
The_Bleeder 13
Just use a laxative powder. Or viagra
The_Bleeder 13
Viagra if any male coworkers do similar things
simoncat 11
Did others overhear your go-worker offer "her" lunch to you? The others could vouch for you that you did nothing maliciously. (Deliciously, yes. Maliciously, no) (Obviously, she either messed up and realized it, not wanting to face up to her mistake, had you eat the evidence.-/ and I am hoping it wasn't a prank pulled on purpose to get you in trouble.)