By Anonymous

Waxing pubical

Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML

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Understandable

Serious times

Age ain't nothing but a number

By Anonymous

No exit! No choice!

Today, I drove my car and suddenly I got diarrhea & shit my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then, one of my work mates saw my car and came to say hello, she saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML

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By GeeThanks - Canada - Toronto

Today, while making a grand show of his generosity, my boss gave me my own commissions as a wedding gift. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Cranford

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML

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By Vampprobs - United States - Skandia

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

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By goodbyeadulthood

Millennial Life

Today, my parents told me that from now on I have to share a room with my 9-year-old sister. She already called top bunk. I'm 20. FML

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By Cheap - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wrote 50 dollars on my gift card just to look generous, it's really only worth five. I found this out after I tried to buy an arm full of clothes. FML

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By RingofFire - United States - Edenville

Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML

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By Broc'n dreams - New Zealand - Auckland

Face Your Fears

Today, I woke up screaming "FUCK OFF!" because I had a dream that someone threw broccoli through my window. FML

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By Yup - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's mom's house for the first time. They had a cook-out so I got to meet his whole entire family. I went into the kitchen to find a huge picture of his ex-girlfriend on his mom's fridge. FML

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By Rhinobro01 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was at a friend's house when his dad told me that he had Photoshopped his face onto a woman's body. I looked at the photo and said it was gross, disgusting and weird. Later on, my friend told me that the photo was actually a picture of his dad's twin sister. FML

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By anonymouschicka - United States

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

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By Enrique - United States

Today, I work at McDonalds. I burned my hand while cleaning their grill and have a 2nd/3rd degree burn from my pinky to my wrist. When told about this, my manager told me that there was "nothing that they could do for me and to tough it out". However I was given a free McFlurry. FML

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By Hopeless - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me and he was very upset, crying that he had been betrayed. He then began to explain that his friend had slept with his ex-girlfriend. I asked why he was so upset, and he said he still loved her, and really thought they were going to be able to work things out. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Belleville

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

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By doomed - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

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By tikizombie - Canada

Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Gainesville

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

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By holycow - United States

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

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By ¬_¬ - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

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By Jules

Today, the first day of school, I threw up on my teacher in the middle of class. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

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By NotaDTfan

Today, my elderly neighbor came crying to me about the horrible thing someone had done outside. I hurried out to find a big pile of dog shit with the head of Donald Trump stuck into it. I had to fake a coughing fit so she wouldn't realize I was laughing. I'm not sure I got away with it. FML

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By dudster25 - United States - Hanford

Today, I was both sexting with my girlfriend and texting my professor about an upcoming essay. I accidentally sent a dickpic to my professor. FML

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By Oops - United States

Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched my best friend get married to the guy I have been in love with since the 8th grade. I was the maid of honor, and had to give a toast to the couple. FML

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By tsardaukar - United States

Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

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By bear - Norway - Bod?

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

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By cathugger

Today, I decided to confess my feelings and perform a love song I'd written for my crush during an open mic night. He was there - he also took the opportunity to declare his love to his on-off girlfriend, get down on one knee and propose to her. She said yes. FML

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By stillaproudfather - United States

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

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By Dumped - United States

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

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By MissNoFuture - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he's been having doubts, but he still wants to stay with me. I asked him why he had been so nervous about us and he replied, "I don't know, just thinking about a future with you makes me feel nauseous". We've been together over 2 years now. FML

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By English - Australia

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to the movies. She replies, "Sorry I have to do stuff with my parents" Her mum calls and by mistake my girlfriend pressed loud speaker, the first thing her mum said was "Be back at 11". FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, while hiking in the mountains in North Carolina, I finally got to the deer I had been tracking for almost an hour. I was watching it from about 10 feet away, and enjoying every moment. Within a few seconds, my niece yelled from across the river to ask if I had found it. It ran away. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I got into an accident and my bike broke. My insurance expired 5 days ago and the accident wasn't even my fault. The lady was on the phone and on the wrong side of the road. She's threatening to sue me even though her car is in better condition. There are no witnesses and no cameras either. FML

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By Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

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By IHateProtesters - United States - Hartford

Today, a group of protesters set up just outside my residence hall at one in the morning. After an hour of chanting, the police finally told them to stop, and I was finally able to get some sleep. The protesters responded by pulling the fire alarm in every residence hall on campus. FML

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By fobfan14 - United States

Today, somebody broke in to my house and stole my laptop, which had years worth of family photos on it. Where was I when it was stolen? At Staples, buying supplies that included CDs to finally back up my pictures. FML

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By KittenTitz - 3/5/2020 20:00

Planned parenthood

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

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Top comments

By stickyface | 8

#7850112 - Thursday 10 October 2019 17:59

Even it up. Trim that trim.

By PirateSnozzle | 8

#7850162 - Thursday 10 October 2019 23:09

Why were you waxing your legs naked? As for the pubes trim the rest or just wait it out, not exactly a disaster.

Well done for not just panicking and yanking the wax off though!

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 28

#7850105 - Thursday 10 October 2019 17:15

Yet another reason not to sport a big bush!

By Ashamed_Sister | 60

#7850109 - Thursday 10 October 2019 17:42

Don't worry, it's temporary and I guess only one person is going to see it. If he/she has problems with it then this is the wrong person for you.

Reply

revidffum69 | 22

#7850490 - Saturday 12 October 2019 6:30

Unless she's into gang bangs...

By stickyface | 8

#7850112 - Thursday 10 October 2019 17:59

Even it up. Trim that trim.

By bullsonyourface | 20

#7850132 - Thursday 10 October 2019 20:45

get a razor and get to work

By PirateSnozzle | 8

#7850162 - Thursday 10 October 2019 23:09

Why were you waxing your legs naked? As for the pubes trim the rest or just wait it out, not exactly a disaster.

Well done for not just panicking and yanking the wax off though!

By TooTall0231 | 9

#7850168 - Thursday 10 October 2019 23:45

A lot of people find waxed flooring a turn on

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7850214 - Friday 11 October 2019 5:58

Pubey-Doobey-Doo!

By kendonmcb | 18

#7850275 - Friday 11 October 2019 11:38

It never ceases to amaze me what kind of things some people consider as a problem. Unless you are in the hairy-porn industrie this wil not have the slightest impact on your life, furthermore the "problem" will solve itself within a few days, yet you decided to whine to the whole internet about it.
Boy how I wish that stuff like this was my biggest problem, yet I consider my life going pretty well currently.

By Sinshine | 27

#7850386 - Friday 11 October 2019 19:52

If it bothers you, why not just remove it all and let it regrow?

By blueknight1st | 26

#7850460 - Saturday 12 October 2019 1:00

So just wax the pubes too. What’s the big deal?