By Anonymous

Waxing pubical

Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML

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Understandable

This Charming Man

Out of it

By Anonymous - Australia - West End

Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Seattle

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

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By full of losses - United States

Today, the day after my grandfather's funeral, my grandmother informed me I have 30 days to move out. I've been living with them for four years, helping take care of my sick grandfather. She's already changed the locks and won't unlock the door. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML

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By WarMachine68 - United States - Shawnee

Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Advice time

Today, my grandmother gave me a sex talk on how I should take "precautions", right in the middle of a packed bus station. I'm 21. FML

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By weliveanddie14 - United States

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

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By forgotten - United States

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

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By Nick Pat

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

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By SpeakerPhone - France

Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Richmond

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/6/2020 02:02

Helping hand

Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML

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By Journo - United States

Nice try

Today, after two months of unemployment, I got a call from a marketing firm offering me an interview for an entry-level position. While Googling the company, I discovered it's a scam. I graduated college in 3 years with a 3.5 GPA, and the only interview I can get is at a fake company. FML

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By FuckedOver - United States - Houston

Today, I found out my mom took around $2,500 from my savings account to pay off my sister's college tuition. She recently flunked out of her studies and won't be returning to college anyway. FML

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By unboned - United States - Katy

Fetishes come in all sizes

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

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By WTFiswrongwithme

Desperate times, desperate, dumb measures

Today, I was so desperate for human interaction that I asked a deaf girl in my class if she liked music. I actually signed it to her. FML

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By Sam l. - United States

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was on the bus, my foot fell asleep. When we arrived at my stop, I stood up and limped to the front of the bus. As I walked down the steps, I tripped, fell, and smashed my nose into the ground. The driver just laughed and drove away. FML

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By horribletimeeverywhere74747 - United States - Navarre

Today, the girl who'd asked me to prom told me she assumed we weren't going together and is now going with her friends. After agreeing to go with her, I'd bought a $200 non-refundable suit along with the ticket. I have no one else to go with. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

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By Fat man pube - 29/3/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom

Letting yourself go

Today, after months of isolating and shielding, suffering through the isolation of having caught COVID and letting my hygiene, diet and exercise programme go to shit, I can officially say my pubes are now longer than my penis, but it’s ok because my belly now hangs over my belt so I can’t even see it anyway. FML

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By Username - Japan

Today, I quit my job and sent a mass mail on Facebook that I was moving to a different state with my long time boyfriend. He called me later that night to tell me we aren't moving after all. Now we are both jobless with loads of bills to pay by the end of the month. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/4/2021 14:01

A tad unfair

Today, my parents have made it very clear to me that if I fail one more assignment, they’re disowning me. I got a zero on a paper that I poured my heart and soul into, and in the notes, the teacher wrote, “I don’t even need to read this paper to know that it is bad.” FML

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By messed up - United States

Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got fired. By my father. He wants me to drive him to work tomorrow. FML

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By fun - United States

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

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By Sad Student - Canada - Toronto

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/4/2020 08:00

It never rains…

Today, I was at work when I got a call to say my grandad died. When I was walking out to my car, I realised someone had stolen all my hubcaps. FML

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By Dirty_Mind_69 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

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By j - Canada

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

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By bri_sci94 - United States - Madison

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

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By chickfilady

Today, I was talking to a customer, when I choked on my spit. After I could breathe again I was so embarrassed I said the first thing that popped into my head, which was, "I'm sorry, I don't know how to swallow." FML

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By sosadbuttrue - Switzerland

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Chattanooga

Backwards ass logic

Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

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By notsohot - United States

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

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By Armstrong - United States - Brownsville

Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML

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By Petridishoflove - Hong Kong

Today, I put my paint brush into my cup of tea. FML

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By cwhitney7 - United States - Waltham

Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML

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Top comments

By stickyface | 8

#7850112 - Thursday 10 October 2019 17:59

Even it up. Trim that trim.

By PirateSnozzle | 8

#7850162 - Thursday 10 October 2019 23:09

Why were you waxing your legs naked? As for the pubes trim the rest or just wait it out, not exactly a disaster.

Well done for not just panicking and yanking the wax off though!

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7850105 - Thursday 10 October 2019 17:15

Yet another reason not to sport a big bush!

By Ashamed_Sister | 60

#7850109 - Thursday 10 October 2019 17:42

Don't worry, it's temporary and I guess only one person is going to see it. If he/she has problems with it then this is the wrong person for you.

Reply

revidffum69 | 22

#7850490 - Saturday 12 October 2019 6:30

Unless she's into gang bangs...

By stickyface | 8

#7850112 - Thursday 10 October 2019 17:59

Even it up. Trim that trim.

By bullsonyourface | 20

#7850132 - Thursday 10 October 2019 20:45

get a razor and get to work

By PirateSnozzle | 8

#7850162 - Thursday 10 October 2019 23:09

Why were you waxing your legs naked? As for the pubes trim the rest or just wait it out, not exactly a disaster.

Well done for not just panicking and yanking the wax off though!

By TooTall0231 | 9

#7850168 - Thursday 10 October 2019 23:45

A lot of people find waxed flooring a turn on

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7850214 - Friday 11 October 2019 5:58

Pubey-Doobey-Doo!

By Sinshine | 27

#7850386 - Friday 11 October 2019 19:52

If it bothers you, why not just remove it all and let it regrow?

By blueknight1st | 26

#7850460 - Saturday 12 October 2019 1:00

So just wax the pubes too. What’s the big deal?