Love: Useful idiot

Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 441

You deserved it 7 681

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 965

You deserved it 3 400

By ClearOne - 12/05/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 654

You deserved it 31 980

By ...thanks - 07/09/2013 14:17 - United States

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 679

You deserved it 4 880

By Anonymous - 10/08/2012 22:06 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 507

You deserved it 4 965

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 218

You deserved it 5 168

By hahahawoww - 31/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 474

You deserved it 4 459

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By nobody - 01/07/2023 00:02

Today, my girlfriend's best friend started coming on to me. I was appalled, and told her she was a terrible friend. My girlfriend jumped out of nowhere and started crying. Apparently, her kink is watching her best friend and boyfriend fuck, and she's now mad I didn't go for it. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 190

You deserved it 194

By .... - 24/12/2013 02:48 - United States - Modesto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 062

You deserved it 3 724

By dumped - 27/10/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 828

You deserved it 2 796

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 927

You deserved it 4 135

harrypotter955 19

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:39

1800-choke DAT hoe

The_Big_Boss 20

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:39

She enjoys the sex.. So you've got that going for you, which is nice

Comments

Heathtastic 10

Wednesday 14 May 2014 4:34

Sounds like permission to find a decent girl then tell her she's just a ****** with a disrespectful personality. Then flip her off

Camri_123 11

Wednesday 14 May 2014 7:31

You might want to establish who you're talking about here. You make it sound like he should be doing to others what was done to him.

vikky538 28

Wednesday 14 May 2014 4:47

*****..that's a new a way to describe a boyfriend...sorry op...

SasquatchDeluxe 10

Wednesday 14 May 2014 4:58

Doesn't matter. Having sex.

metheonlyb 17

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:04

Doesn't matter, had sex!

Shopduster 9

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:05

My husband of 12 years told me I make him feel like a "piece of meat, my personal sex toy". Pick your battles wisely

ladybugz23 13

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:12

dude you gotta find other girlfriend

alicat13 12

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:31

Tackle her about it, maybe your friend wants to move in on your territory?

fatimakhanxo 8

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:40

AW! that just means there's someone better out there for you. keep looking!

uglyduck24 7

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:41

Ahahahaha sorry but I died of laughter reading this

natattack1999 4

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:49

Hope you mean ex-girlfriend. You deserve better than that OP

Keywords

Music Boredom Transportation Annoying Awkward Cars Embarrassing Relatable Kids Family Babysitter Thief Money Food Miscellaneous Gross Farts Depression Mental health Health Weird Creepy AITA Pregnancy Facebook Star Wars Social Media Wanker Work Bodyshaming

The Top

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I asked my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 506

You deserved it 7 861

Today, I met up with a guy from Bumble for a first date. An hour in, he asks me, "What's your take on body odor?" He proceeds to tell me about his intimate relationship with his body odor and how his armpits take on the scents of his lovers' lady bits. He added that the "essence" of his ex often returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 67

The Top

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said he needed to be with someone smart so that he could impress his parents. I just got accepted into medical school. When I pointed that out to him, he added that he needed to be with someone attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 741

You deserved it 4 675

Today, thanks to the unholy power of autocorrect, I told my mother-in-law that "crispy dick" is on the menu tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 678

You deserved it 1 649

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 204

You deserved it 2 743

Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 634

You deserved it 4 802

Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 358

You deserved it 3 439

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 197

You deserved it 4 510

Useful idiot

Same thing different taste

Timing is everything

No kinkshaming, but come on…

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