Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML
Today, I surprised my friend at their birthday party with a confetti cannon. I pulled the string, expecting colorful joy. Instead, it misfired, launched backwards and smacked me in the forehead. The confetti came out five seconds later, directly onto my dazed head. FML
Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML
Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML
Today, I was hanging with friends up at my best friend's cabin. We were in his hot tub cracking jokes when he told one that sent me into a fit of hysterics. He tried to shut me up by splashing water on me. It worked, because when I jerked my head to the side, I dislocated a rib. FML
Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML
Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML
Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML
Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML
Today, I was throwing a surprise birthday party for my friend. As we all hid in the dark waiting for him to arrive, I unexpectedly sneezed so loudly that I scared everyone, and they jumped out before he had even finished unlocking the front door. FML
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Top comments
Atropos_fml 0
Who would ever think that's a good idea?
fahubugahds 0
pellet guns aren't loud... at all
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Comments (150)
Herox 0
lol omg thats funny as shit man!! YEAH ME OVER HERE IM RIGHT NEXT TO YOU CAN YOU HEAR ME!!
lindsaylu98 0
so can u not hear out of the one ear anymore?
iLove2LoveU 0
yeah, your "friend"!!
cheezbrgrsrcool 1
that sucks
alshclown 0
I call shenanigans. pellet guns aren't loud.
samantha72890 4
pellets guns aren't loud enough to blow out your ear drum.... .22 caliber could if it's by your ear and especially if it's on the left side of your head due to muzzle load. unless of course you have a left handed gun then it's opposite... next time you write a FML, think before you write it :)
laxbrosive 4
Of you were drunk like the shooter probably was, it would spun like a good idea.
Exaspera 55
You have stupid friends
Alaskanwildman 12
Pellet guns make almost no noise
TheSmartAss10 21
It didn't blow out your ears xD Don't be ****** stupid. Pellet guns aren't loud enough.