Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a childhood friend reached out to me to apologize for our friendship. He was obviously drunk, and admitted that his parents made him become friends with me so that my dad, their landlord, would be easy on them when the rent was short after his mom lost her job. He said he never really liked me and called me a nerd, before hanging up. FML
Today, I pranked my friend and started a fake fight. However, she opened up and admitted to doing a bunch of stuff. We've now stopped being friends. FML
Today, a "friend" of mine decided stealing my very low amount of sticky notes repetitively to make origami and show off was okay, even though I had repeatedly asked her to stop. Then, when I snapped, I was the bad guy, and everyone who was around started stealing my pencil case to get them. FML
Today, I got dumped by a friend because she said I was "too much." She's treated me like shit and basically ignored me at times since the beginning of the school year, in favor of hanging out with another friend. I guess years of friendship really can disappear overnight. FML
Today, in the most polite and friendly way I could think of, I told a friend that she's slightly too dramatic about things. She started throwing a fit, deleted my number, and ended our seven-year friendship. FML
Today, after almost four years of friendship. My "good friend" blocked me on Facebook, after I joked with him about his team losing. I'm a huge fan of the winning team. FML
Today, I'm pretty sure I destroyed a friendship irreparably. I was trying to do a nice thing, but it backfired in an awful way. I know it's my fault. I really wanted to be that person's friend. FML
Today, my brother is about to move to a new house, all because last week I played a prank on him. I made him believe that I crashed my car and had to sell his things to pay for the damage. He's no longer talking to me, or acknowledging me as a sibling anymore. FML
Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
Today, after I tried to give a friend I had for ten years a second chance, after we had a bad falling out because it was "too much for her" that I had a life changing accident and was not upbeat about it, needless to say she has been obnoxious these past 6 months and I should not have let her selfish butt back in. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You monster!
Kalipczo 21
Go buy him some new ones as an apologetic gesture. No one should joke like that about glow in the dark markers. No one.
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Comments (84)
DocBastard 40
Grudge-holding level: Master.
Lilxpie 18
I remember letting a girl in my class borrow my pink ink pen one day and she still hasn't returned it from last year as I see it just sitting in her locker. Good luck, OP.
jamnglamgirlie 17
I remember being in that position all to well. That's one of the reasons I stopped using pencil cases: To avoid the people that don't know what borrow means.
mFUNdo21 17
go get your pen back!
mikelangele 15
and you don't say anything? ydi
utrax 23
Should not have messed with his glow-in-the-dark markers, OP.
awesomeamandas 37
Never mess with glow in the dark anything. Of its not yours don't touch. Those things are sacred.
awesomeamandas 37
How did I not realize I said of instead of if? I feel as if the grammar nazis have been slacking seeing as no one has commented about my mistake. I do apologize.
jerryj 27
I must commend you on your honesty, and coming clean after all these years. It must have taken a lot of courage to confront your friend with your confession. I wish you good luck and godspeed with restoring your relationship.
mFUNdo21 17
he didn't really steal the markers
jerryj 27
My mistake! Must have misread the FML the first time. PS: Thank you for your polite correction.
Fitzinator1995 13
well they do glow in the dark...
Jeffy91 28
For all you know, you could have triggered something deep in his mind. His mom or dad could've bought them for him one day, telling him strictly to not lose them or else. The day they were stolen he may have just went home and explained to his folks what happened. All may have been well or he could've got beaten with spark plug wires. Ya just never know...
Voij 16
I believe you have missed the part of the FML where it stated that these were "GLOW-IN-THE-DARK MARKERS"! [Yes, capslock was necessary to represent their awesomeness.] Having stuff like that stolen from you can cause a massive trauma. I still remember the one time when I was in some kinda park, I was about 4 years old, where they had small, remotely controlled boats. I put in the money to control one, then realised that the one I picked was stuck between others and couldn't move. I think this event will continue to haunt me for the rest of my life.
kellyem2 20
It's amazing how badly something like that can still hurt years later. I still remember the kid who stole my neon crayons in the first grade. She lied and told me her brother ate them, but I definitely saw her coloring with them later. Some people just can't be trusted, man.
aecribb 14
You're lucky they weren't scented as well or you wouldn't be alive to share this FML.
Jeffy91 28
lol. I took your comment the wrong way. I was thinking if they were scented he would've ended up huffing the markers he supposedly stolen til he died from brain damage. Talk about thinking outside the box. XD