Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, I was in my bed masturbating when I felt something on my chest. I looked down to see a spider running around. I'm super scared of spiders. FML
Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I was having a relaxing "wank", as they might say on Doctor Who, when a large spider descended from its web and came practically eye-to-eye with me. I screamed like a bitch and fell off my bed, pants around my ankles. Then my sister ran in to see what was wrong. FML
Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend felt the need to ask me if I could get my ladder and clean the ceiling, because it looked dusty with a spiderweb in the corner. I didn’t realise I was so boring in bed that she had the time to examine the ceiling and plan my chore list. FML
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Top comments
MoMonster 0
spiders are quite sexy. eight legs for MAXIMUM pleasure. xD
schwiggidy 0
you were masturbating UNDER a spider
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Comments (160)
ingridpingrid 4
eeew, thats nasty...
grapisy 8
You get a thumbs up because I laughed when I saw your picture. The comment itself is boring and unimaginative.
carcinogan 0
wait..this made no sense..at all..spider on the ceiling..and you were over it? oh boy...
xxmollyxx 25
Think before you type.
iamsexxychick9 0
I don't think op meant over as in on top of but more like over as in because of or about. maybe u should think of ulterior meanings b4 judging ppl pissy pants.
DynamicDave 11
Lol, this instantly reminded me of the FML where the guy found a spider in his sock after masturbating. Maybe you two should hook up! You already have a fetish in common
Danny_B 4
and ur comment reminds me of the guy who came home after a long day and stripped to take a shower and found that he had a spider in his underwar all day. lol.
tttiffany 0
I remember that one! lmfaoooo
AdobeAlf 2
Spiders are starting to get too close to humans.
dre_bro11 12
OP, your saying you looked at the spider absent mindedly, meaning you didn't concerntrate on it, which doesnt mean ur masturbating over it. it's just like you looking at the sink while ur masturbatig. ur not masturbating over the sink are you!??
robc32ca 4
turned on by the spider or that the spider was watching you?
mylifesucksserio 15
how highs your ceiling
Diplomatz 0
F the spiders life.
MfailK 0
freak
stevenmx86 7
Well if he just happened to be in your field of view then that's not true.. You were probably doing the action to your thoughts and a spider happened to be in view.. Unless you were like "oooh spider... Yeah".. But either way ydi...
shay224ah 5
i guess it would be good for you if spiderman was your next boyfriend
xxmollyxx 25
I'd love Spiderman as my next boyfriend