Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML
Today, I heard my fiancé moaning in her sleep. She was very obviously aroused, so I woke her up to have a little fun. The sex was absolutely mind-blowing… until she said another man's name. We're supposed to get married in two days. FML
Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML
Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML
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Top comments
StripedSwtor 7
he's screwed if you guys have a son
oicu812xD 16
You'll feel real stupid when your future daughter has that name: P haha but seriously you have to give him credit for trying
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Comments (167)
AznSamoan52 10
Either he's really good at thinking on the spot or he really did have a vision from the Lord. Either way that's some really deep stuff.
krewer21 1
Bullshit!
Warden1986 16
That's when you say, " yea and I'm the virgin Mary".
Elkrider 13
As excuses go, it's at least a creative one. Doesn't save it from being lame, though.
Fmlsea 28
wow there's a new breed of asshole , you married a creative one there i wonder how much creative he thought of for his vows .Since he has been "possessed by the lord " maybe he should be "possessed by blue balls".
Bex20 1
Well. Points for originality xD
bulbul116_fml 4
dont believe him..he is certainly cheating on u..!
lady1992 5
Your husband is an idiot.! -_- if i were u i would of been divorced.!
kristat 14
"oh god god oh god oh god"=divine encounter.
The_F3rris 11
I just love religious hacks, don't you? Bring your god into your adultery, scum bag.