By Anonymous

Too much of a good thing

Today, I finally found a job as a secretary for a small film studio. The sets are in a soundproofed part of the building, but not for the typical reasons. Right through the wall is a pornography studio. It's all I'll hear from 8 to 5 every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1450

You deserved it

241

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Taking stock

Jealousy

Wait, what?

By Wow - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43184

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19270

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By Vahootie - United States

Today, my parents refused to visit me at college because "the flights are too expensive." They are currently shopping for a new car to replace my mother's two-year-old Porsche. FML

I agree, your life sucks

81762

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4038

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By poop_mcqueen - United States

Today, I bought a cool new pair of sunglasses. I wore them today, and all day I kept getting comments about how much I looked like Ozzy Osbourne and John Lennon. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34350

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13285

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By sh33zy - United States

Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41305

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3482

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By timon_n_pumbaa - Japan - Tokyo

Second time

Today, I found myself locked in a bathroom for the second time in my life. This time at least I was at home. I live alone. I had to break the window on the shower door and crawl out. Now, I need to crawl in/out to shower, brush my teeth and more. FML

I agree, your life sucks

902

You deserved it

1165

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By Eric Ngan - Singapore - Singapore

Today, a pigeon got into my apartment. After knocking over a very expensive vase, it panicked, rammed itself against a window, and shat all over the floor as it tried to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24153

You deserved it

2133

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By rugs - United States

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45537

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5787

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By Anonymous - United States - Sanford

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60118

You deserved it

6817

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By Bob - United States

Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46976

You deserved it

4713

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By DL06 - United States

Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML

I agree, your life sucks

74365

You deserved it

12523

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By sampaloompy - United States

Today, I enjoy reading this site and other people's suffering just to feel better about my own life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31311

You deserved it

8154

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By Done - 24/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

Go vegan

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

930

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27420

You deserved it

4059

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By Anonymous - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48586

You deserved it

3774

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By highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26364

You deserved it

6516

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By stick - United States

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9324

You deserved it

171615

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By engineerdude91 - United States

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33994

You deserved it

4163

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By MrFerret

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37617

You deserved it

3386

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13680

You deserved it

40678

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By lug_nut - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30181

You deserved it

3299

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By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48596

You deserved it

4820

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By Backed up - United States

Help me

Today, I had the privilege of looking into my husband's eyes and uttering one of the sexiest phrases in the English language, "I need a suppository." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1786

You deserved it

220

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By fishoutofwater - United States - Radcliff

Today, in an attempt to broaden my horizons in another sport besides swimming, I succeeded in getting a frisbee spiked into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16839

You deserved it

1532

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14596

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22391

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By dank meme - United States - Chicago

Today, I learned that my neighbor of 9 years has a kid. I learned this after I knocked down his snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5306

You deserved it

3864

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By Lexxxiii - 22/12/2020 23:02

Eyebleach

Today, while delivering an Amazon package, I arrived to this one house where the man was outside, so I just handed it to him. As he was reaching for it, his robe popped open. Twice. He was wearing nothing but the robe, and he was your typical fat, hairy, 40-year-old man. My poor eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

890

You deserved it

124

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By so bored -__- - United States

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18543

You deserved it

31093

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By Anonymous

Today, I went on my first date in over a year, and my best friend popped up at the restaurant uninvited. To make it worse, she pulled up a chair right in between us and started an argument with the bartender. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1804

You deserved it

147

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By notpregnantthankgod - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22445

You deserved it

2180

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By Anonymous

Today, after three weeks in the hospital for a lung infection, I was released. On the way home, another car ran a red light and T-boned my car. Back to the hospital I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4619

You deserved it

175

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25399

You deserved it

2659

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By ScienceFail - United States

Today, I tried to open the research paper I've been working on for the past month, only to discover that the entire file is permanently lost and can't be recovered. This is not the first time this has happened to this paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29976

You deserved it

15895

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By seepeezy32

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21290

You deserved it

71240

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By bgoodwin07 - United States

Today, I found out my dad has been sending dirty text messages to my mom. Which wouldn't be a problem except they're divorced and my dad is remarried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35853

You deserved it

2858

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By Anonymous - United States - Palm City

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27178

You deserved it

1617

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By Anonymous - Croatia

Family values

Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1559

You deserved it

565

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By Anonymous - 8/2/2021 05:01

Metal Cat

Today, my cat jumped on my chest while I was sleeping and head-butted my nose to show she loves me. It was hard enough to crack it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

612

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was complaining to my roommate that I never get asked out. Then, at work, a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well, I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21391

You deserved it

7309

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By Karma

Karma karma karma karma chameleon, you come and go.

Today, I forgot my phone in a restaurant bathroom because I was too distracted trying to steal three rolls of toilet paper without anyone noticing. After sinking that low because I was too broke to buy my own toilet roll, I'm now also in the market for a new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2625

You deserved it

7032

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24080

You deserved it

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Top comments

By Itsheragain | 9

#7893180 - Sunday 29 March 2020 5:03

oh lord...i can imagine the shit you hear...i always gotta skip the intro cos its corny.😂

By RichardPencil | 30

#7893171 - Sunday 29 March 2020 3:05

Who the fuck makes porn at 8 in the morning?

I'll bet it's not good normal MILF stuff but weird fetish crap, like coffee or bacon porn!

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7893171 - Sunday 29 March 2020 3:05

Who the fuck makes porn at 8 in the morning?

I'll bet it's not good normal MILF stuff but weird fetish crap, like coffee or bacon porn!

LadyRen | 20

#7893179 - Sunday 29 March 2020 5:02

Food porn does exist, for those odd people who like bacon porn.

RichardPencil | 30

#7893185 - Sunday 29 March 2020 5:08

I'm sure it does. I'm just guessing there's sub-genres of breakfast staple porn, but I dare not go down that rabbit hole!

By Itsheragain | 9

#7893180 - Sunday 29 March 2020 5:03

oh lord...i can imagine the shit you hear...i always gotta skip the intro cos its corny.😂

RichardPencil | 30

#7893190 - Sunday 29 March 2020 5:11

Yeah, the "acting" is so terrible, you could almost lose your boner.

Marcella1016 | 31

#7893213 - Sunday 29 March 2020 6:34

Am I weird for kind of liking the setups? Corny and awesome 😂😂

RichardPencil | 30

#7893214 - Sunday 29 March 2020 7:06

You are, but we all have our kinks, don't we?😂😂😂

xaonng | 5

#7893280 - Sunday 29 March 2020 12:40

sounds like you need to make your own. one less corny lol

By bloopaloop | 27

#7893295 - Sunday 29 March 2020 14:35

Have you ever masterbated at your desk?

By Shzusuziq | 16

#7893298 - Sunday 29 March 2020 15:03

If the sets are soundproofed, how will you be hearing it all day?

raven_of_azarath | 33

#7893616 - Monday 30 March 2020 20:03

I imagine OP works at the entrance and the studio is another room.

1known | 29

#7894255 - Thursday 2 April 2020 3:53

And? If the sets are soundproof she shouldn’t be able to hear what’s happening on the sets.

By Jonkbaby | 20

#7893385 - Sunday 29 March 2020 21:36

does it smell weird?

By jkjorn | 15

#7893417 - Monday 30 March 2020 0:04

Ew.. might want to start looking for another job, it's only a matter of time before they ask if you can fill in for an actress that didn't show up.

By WistayShlaio82 | 13

#7893462 - Monday 30 March 2020 3:15

Sorry, I was a camera man for a couple years filming porn. Nothing “cool” ever happen to me while I was there. I’m still a virgin. My face kept me that way.