Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, a woman left our first date just because I didn't like the same character as her on a TV show. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
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Top comments
yoursucklives 36
well you know, internet ads are kinda annoying...
lk2481 4
Guess she doesn't like advertisements....
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Comments (190)
Trisha_aus 15
Well ads are annoying op, keep popping everywhere! But take it easy, and maybe she wanted your job
BunBunBabe 8
Maybe you didn't advertise your interest well
TheDrifter 24
Or op advertised it too well and she thought that was a cheesy line to try to get some nude pics of her.
meihua 19
Dafuq?
BunBunBabe 8
You lost me at nude pics..
TheDrifter 24
*sigh* people show more intent with body language than words. If he was giving her an "I wanna bang you NOW" look, mentioning he was in advertising would be construed as a pickup line. The girls I pick up at the bar always catch on right away when I use lines like that, guess I should aim a little more naive.
cmyk 19
#39 Awkward joke man..
perdix 31
You ought to go into telemarketing or debt collection to increase your popularity.
spekledworf 18
Perdix wtf is your profile pic supposed to be?
KriiFahMoro 9
I'm guessing that the different colors = different emotions.
ClosetTroll 10
Something to do with color of the fabric and the mood they represent, I guess?
ClosetTroll 10
Ad block plus in real life.
DocBastard 40
She actually said "Eff asterisk asterisk kay you"? What a ******* wacko. You're better off without her.
Jewlz1162 5
She probably thought you said perverts
alexup24 13
Seems like someone had a bad past with ads.
tomtato 10
WHAT ISMARKETING???? 1. You see a gorgeous girl at aparty. You go up to her and say: ' I am very rich. Marry me! ' - That's Direct Marketing' 2. You're at a partywith a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up toher and pointing at you says: ' He's very rich. 'Marry him.' -That's Advertising' 3. You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. Thenext day, you call and say: ' Hi,I'm very rich. 'Marry me - That'sTelemarketing' 4. You're at a partyand see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to herand pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she dropsit, offer her ride and then say:'By the way, I'm rich. Will you 'Marry Me?' - That's Public Relations' 5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:'Youare very rich! 'Can you marry ! Me?' - That's Brand Recognition' 6. You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!'She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - ' That's Customer Feedback ' 7. You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!'And she introduces you to her husband. - 'That's demand and supply gap' 8. You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, anotherperson come and tell her: 'I'm rich. Will you marry me?' and she goes with him- 'That's competition eating into your market share' 9. You see agorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: 'I'm rich, Marryme!' your wife arrives. - ' That'srestriction for entering new markets'
queen_awks 16
You have waaaaaay too much spare time.
abness101 2
agreed lol
linkinpark98 24
To be honest, too long, didnt read... .-.
SammySteel 6
I really want to see a video montage of all those situations happening.
TheMathMajor 26
Something wrong with your spacebar bro? There were a lot of conjoined words in there.
Ugi 27
Cut & paste error.
simpleman124 1
Yea thanks to you we have to wait slightly longer for videos!
linkinpark98 24
I'd rather have to wait 30 seconds than have to pay money to use a site like YouTube. I really don't see why you people are complaining.
thatnucca 36
Work for Vevo?