Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst working in a law firm, I took a call from a criminal, demanding that we apply for bail as he didn't like being in jail. When I tried to explain no one likes being in jail, he became angry and hung up the phone. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML
Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I had to deal with my baby daddy, who I currently live with and was in a relationship with (but not anymore after today) cursed me out after someone who works for the county came to our home and served him papers. Mind you he’s been speaking on the phone with this person, and told them he would be home. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML
Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
There's nothing you can do once he finds your number.
HunkyFes 6
You're so in ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
Joshoa123 16
Make him your prisoner of love.
Sabraynay 10
He wants you.
Awsemogreeb 19
Thanks for that Captain Obvious.
khaya 9
Well, his wife sure isn't going to accept his call.
s0m3guy2010 21
Would you happen to be one of Charlie Sheen's ex goddesses?
ideasrule 13
Inmates are only human, and they experience as much loneliness and need for companionship as the rest of us. In fact, loneliness is a major problem affecting the psychological health of prisoners, hence charities like writeaprisoner.com. While I agree that the OP shouldn't have given out her number, the inmate's question was not completely ridiculous.
kiakia0131 23
It doesn't specifically state she gave him her number. If she did she is stupid, and violating the terms of her job. Correction Officers and other jail or prison staff are not supposed to have a relationship of any kind with the inmates (well aside from staff-inmate). If she did give the inmate her number, she could get fired. Someone would find out eventually.
ideasrule 13
I agree, hence why I said "while I agree she shouldn't have given out her number".
scruffy_janitor5 1
Well it's not like he can call his wife
HeavyScout 0
He's in jail for domestic violence... is there any further explanation needed?
Grimmerie 31
thank you, 26, that was the joke.
HeavyScout 0
Ok, let me dumb it down for you: OP works in a jail, dude who beat up people in his house wants to use his phone call to call her.
mistersheezy 7
Maybe he has a thing for people in uniforms.
SteveTheJanitor 6
Or maybe he has a thing for her...no one will ever know, except him
AndreKanaan 6
Should have said "sureeee my number is 1800 go **** yourself"
cbdee 8
I suppose u've heard that one b4 ;)
Carina23 5
Oh, that scary!! :o