Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, whilst working in a law firm, I took a call from a criminal, demanding that we apply for bail as he didn't like being in jail. When I tried to explain no one likes being in jail, he became angry and hung up the phone. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML
Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I had to deal with my baby daddy, who I currently live with and was in a relationship with (but not anymore after today) cursed me out after someone who works for the county came to our home and served him papers. Mind you he’s been speaking on the phone with this person, and told them he would be home. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML
Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
There's nothing you can do once he finds your number.
HunkyFes 6
You're so in ;)
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Comments (90)
SilentTreatment 7
1-800-COLLECT-AN-ASS-WHOOPIN. An nah, it ain't free!
mrahhhhh 21
You wrecked my car! Are you blind?! "Boondocks reference"
juicyfruit222 0
Omg was it my baby daddy?!? Lmao
laceyanneman 7
Ah jeez
stronghand0331 17
1-800-CHOKE DAT HO!
Garytt 0
How did he get your number?!
BrimfullOfAsher 20
Time to spread the word that this prisoner enjoys being the woman in a relationship.
Euphorically 14
They probably understand the FML they just don't see how she could be physically attacked over a phone call.
aFreedom127 9
Tell him that spanking is much more fun than hitting.
Vash_41288 10
No fraternizing with the inmates now. All they look for is one moment of you dropping your guard and shit hits the fan.... Brrrrrrhhh(the sound I assume it makes)
kabocha_cookie 0
Aw. He could be your new best bud!
hannahcorrine 0
This'll be a great story to tell your kids one day