Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while working as a waitress, an attractive woman sat at one of my tables. When she paid, I decided to be bold and write my number and "Call me" on her receipt. She put in a complaint to my manager. FML
Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML
Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML
Today, I was complaining to my roommate that I never get asked out. Then, at work, a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well, I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML
Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML
Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML
Today, while working at a cell phone store, I helped an older woman learn how to use her newly updated phone. After trying to help her for over 20 minutes, she threatened to throw her phone at my head. FML
Today, while working at my job in a luxury retail store, a woman left me a business card. It was for a plastic surgeon. FML
Today, after weeks of eating in the same restaurant, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the super-cute cashier for her phone number. "Aw, how cute. Do you have an older brother?" FML
Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML
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Top comments
xxsunshine 0
ahah, wow. so did you call her?
Colby_Colbert 0
hey ... it could be the best you ever have
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Comments (103)
Andreas2402 0
Will you call her?
Dragonmouth 4
Heheh. Why does this site have so many perverted old women?
wildstargoethe 0
You should definitely call her.
mcpicklejar 0
elderly woman are the best!
benshady 0
dude you should call her. LMAO!
fmlobsessionx95 0
EWWWW D: uckkkk. FYL.
mattmag 0
If you're not going to call her, give me the number. I wouldn't mind benefiting from her decades of experience.
lopezzz 0
kinky.
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
LMAO. I love horny little old people. But that's waaaaaaaayy too much information. I would've barfed. D: FYL, seriously. but I'm kind of getting annoyed by the horny old people // parents FMLs. but this ones reaally funny. :D
Vegetables 0
This reminds me of some joke on my eighth grade trip: Four girls and a removable showerhead.