Intimacy, Sex and Cheating: You're fired

You're fired

By Pyrophobia - 13/09/2021 23:00

Today, my husband nearly set our apartment on fire, all because he attempted to burn any evidence of his affair with his mistress, including the used latex condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 137

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Same thing different taste

Hello, 911? Crazy person in my house

By Xxvc67 - 22/06/2022 22:00

Today, I was attempting to trash my cheating boyfriend’s house. While I was pouring gasoline all over his belongings, he decided to come home early with the little homewrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 2 305

Fixed

By Anonymous - 11/04/2020 05:00

Today, my husband, who repairs appliances for a living, repaired our dryer. One lot of wet clothes later, it caught fire and ruined the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 123

By Why - 24/04/2016 18:59 - United States - Marlborough

Today, my husband cheated on me. In my house. While I was home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 818

You deserved it 2 010

By Peach - 05/12/2017 15:00

Today, my husband finally decided to help with the laundry. He washed a pen and it exploded in the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 181

You deserved it 457

By Anonymous - 02/12/2014 03:14 - United States - Anchorage

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 501

You deserved it 12 372

By jess - 24/12/2018 04:00

Today, I decided to go home and apologise to my husband for accusing him of having an affair. I came home to find him having sex with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 182

You deserved it 327

By Whatthehell - 22/10/2017 05:00

Today, my husband's mistress purposely and dangerously induced her own labor so that she would have the baby on my birthday. Yes, I'm divorcing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 543

You deserved it 318

By why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" - 17/08/2013 22:40 - Netherlands - Oosterwolde

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 691

You deserved it 4 272

By Anonymous - 21/12/2015 21:45 - United States - Freeport

Today, my husband got fired from his job as a maintenance man at our apartment complex for accidentally letting a hooker into someone's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 423

You deserved it 2 262

By ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall - 10/03/2013 18:50 - Cyprus - Strovolos

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 737

You deserved it 4 860

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 14 September 2021 0:48

And you ended up finding the used condom anyways. I'd say his plan... ...wait on it... ...backfired.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 14 September 2021 2:51

It's going to be tough to find a lawyer specializing in divorce and arson.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 14 September 2021 0:48

And you ended up finding the used condom anyways. I'd say his plan... ...wait on it... ...backfired.

Charlie Given 26

Tuesday 14 September 2021 1:50

well time to lawyer up sorry for your op

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 14 September 2021 2:51

It's going to be tough to find a lawyer specializing in divorce and arson.

OnReceivingEnd 17

Sunday 19 September 2021 13:37

But worth it.

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The Top

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 604

You deserved it 5 177

Today, it's only been two months since my daughter has owned her home and now she wants to move back to my house because she lost her job and can’t afford the mortgage, plus she got pregnant off a one-night stand and needs my help with the baby. Bang goes my plans for a quiet retirement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 953

You deserved it 5 040

Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 113

You deserved it 2 921

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 370

You deserved it 2 628

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 902

You deserved it 6 672

Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 807

You deserved it 40 676

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 948

You deserved it 21 601

You're fired

Same thing different taste

Hello, 911? Crazy person in my house

Fixed

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