Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was making my bed, which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today I had a narrow escape with a nailgun that nailed my workboot to the floor but luckily missed my foot. After I calmed down and changed boots I returned to the nailgun, started working again and barely 30 seconds later I managed to nail my thumb to a piece of wood. Man, I'm bad at my job. FML
Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML
Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was getting onto an airplane and happened to admire the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when my foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to my seat but now I have bruised nuts. FML
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, the lights went out at the gym while I was holding a heavy bar. I tried to put it back on the rack, missed, and dropped it on my toe. Then, as I was limping around in pain, I hit my head on one of the other bars on a rack at head height. FML
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Top comments
kerrygirl 13
on the bright side she'l do everything you ask her to do for the next few days......
_Dusty_ 0
Yes, but not in that order.
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Comments (107)
mc1900 4
you dont know how to use a crowbar i guess. your fault
judetheobvious 0
YDI for dating a *****
cameron1793 0
#15 truely epic comment, it just mocks you you dumb ass (OP)
LuferLad 0
just tell her that she has to kiss it for you ;)
FlagrantNE0 0
You deserve it for not being able to hold down the wood yourself with your foot and having to rely on your girlfriend to do a one-man's task.
atomicbaboon 0
emphasis on MAN
1sh4ggedURm0m 0
I can definately smell shiiiiite!
hedgehogs 0
Dump the sadistic girlfriend soonest. That's not funny.
thekingjoe90 0
why would you remove a nail with a crow bar, a hammer works to
thekingjoe90 0
why would you remove a nail with a crow bar, a hammer works to
Hobo_stickfigure 0
well now you ask her to kiss it better