Intimacy: Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd...

By f*cks_sake - 13/05/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 399

You deserved it 11 082

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 028

You deserved it 9 024

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 04:14 - United States - Missoula

Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 080

You deserved it 1 880

By Anonymous - 09/07/2013 16:07 - United States - Katy

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 737

You deserved it 23 075

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 548

You deserved it 7 942

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 562

You deserved it 13 109

By Anonymous - 04/12/2014 19:33 - United States

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 595

You deserved it 3 292

By nick - 22/03/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 254

You deserved it 13 294

By Anonymous - 12/03/2014 15:33 - United States

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 995

You deserved it 5 354

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 172

You deserved it 6 711

By notacreep - 06/07/2015 17:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 540

You deserved it 8 243

meowcat_1 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 6:08

That's not weird at all...

vettle 6

Saturday 14 May 2011 6:13

this is the only time when being a girl is better in the anatomy department.

Comments

FlyingLazerWALRU 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 2:47

I can only imagine what you might have been dreaming of, you poor sexually depraved boy. FYL, it really does suck. No offense.

Sadtimess 4

Sunday 15 May 2011 5:32

youtube ??

ladiesman665 2

Sunday 15 May 2011 6:25

and I thought I was weird

matildalillyysto 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 6:34

this actually made mee laugh. that's incredibly awkward but funny hahah sorry

the_gman 7

Tuesday 17 May 2011 17:00

It can happen without warning if you haven't done it in a while.

wowzersselainee 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 3:21

Lmfaooo! i would laugh even harder if u send me that tape

babydeanna1234 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:26

lol that's funny !

BigOrca 2

Saturday 28 May 2011 16:47

I hope I don't do this.

Crncj 0

Friday 3 June 2011 23:36

0_0

sweeetooth 4

Monday 13 June 2011 8:37

haha I cant believe they made you watch it! that must of been brutal!

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Today, I'm a graduate of a wealthy public school in So Cal. It astonishes me how many of my classmates don’t see a problem with today’s politicians, or gas, rent, and food prices. I was given shelter but had to earn everything I had growing up. I knew I wasn’t crazy though they acted like I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 101

Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next 4 months, cancelling my PTO in the process, and then I learned they were being paid nearly 20% more than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 77

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Today, I was talking to a colleague about love. He told me he's given up on love because things ended badly with a previous girl. I said, "Maybe it wasn't meant to be, and she wasn't the one." He then said the reason it didn't work out was because she killed herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 761

You deserved it 4 008

Today, I found a folder on my boyfriend's computer called "Facebook". It turned out to be a collection of thousands of photos from his female friends' accounts. It was all sorted into folders like "Big Tits", "Blonde", "Cameltoe", "Feet", and "Jailbait". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 329

You deserved it 2 873

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 476

You deserved it 3 139

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 588

You deserved it 3 447

Today, there was a spider in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 65

Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some guy picking up $300. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 222

You deserved it 7 094

Same thing different taste

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