Intimacy: Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out...

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 580

You deserved it 13 120

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Same thing different taste

By jennyygrace - 11/07/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 610

You deserved it 41 652

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 167

You deserved it 17 278

TSA

By androgynous - 30/03/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 568

You deserved it 4 756

By sufia - 29/09/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 1 170

By Traveler - 09/10/2015 02:06

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 173

You deserved it 1 659

By GothicbunnyxC - 28/01/2012 23:31 - Canada

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 35 464

By Anonymous - 17/07/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 663

You deserved it 47 213

By ... - 27/11/2008 05:30 - France

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 123

You deserved it 3 889

Revealing

By doody - 30/12/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 258

You deserved it 4 282

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 358

You deserved it 978

_insertnamehere_ 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:55

well, they had to make it sure it wouldn't go off at any time...

josface 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:56

Poor kids.

Comments

_insertnamehere_ 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:55

well, they had to make it sure it wouldn't go off at any time...

billyhirvine09 0

Sunday 4 April 2010 15:50

#1 pretty much wins at life

soccrplease 1

Sunday 17 April 2011 1:20

agreed

Herropreez17 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 1:37

TSA horse shit... ITS A PENIS YOU DUMB ****!! ITS ONLY GOING TO EXPLODE IF YOU KEEP RUBBING IT!!!

THEsuperMANLYman 10

Wednesday 23 January 2013 2:20

Atleast u have a big D

fmlAllStar7274 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:56

#1 ftw!!!!!!

breenarae25 0

Monday 20 September 2010 6:42

WTF ur 2, can u count??

changesinme 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 18:47

He was typing it when someone else got to press the comment button faster. I guess you didn't even bother to think before commenting.

KatieKhaos 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 0:18

No, he just said that #1 was awesome, not that he was first, otherwise it would be something like " ZOMG i r first!!!1!!!one!!"

josface 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:56

Poor kids.

GR3453m0nk3y 4

Monday 1 June 2009 0:56

haha that sucks wait... what was turning you on at the AIRPORT!?!?!?

I'madumbass 19

Saturday 25 November 2017 6:59

I would like to know this too. Follow up, anyone?

catacombhome 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:57

At least your erection got some attention. Some people would kill for a monster like yours.... Shame on you for getting upset.

hpodity 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:58

He probably thought it was a dangerous cucumber wrapped in tinfoil

nessa69_fml 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:58

wow.

beaverdogmouse 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:58

HAHAHAHAHAH I LOVE YOU

mohomonopoly 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:58

hahahahahaha :D oh those male penises :)

I'madumbass 19

Saturday 25 November 2017 7:00

Male penises? You saying females are supposed to have them too?

Go_for_it 0

Monday 1 June 2009 1:00

#9, as opposed to what other kind of penises?

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 519

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 642

You deserved it 5 884

The Top

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 362

You deserved it 25 976

Today, a doctor squeezed so much cheese out of a huge lump on my nutsack, for a second I was convinced he’d poked a hole in my bollock and was squeezing out my baby-making juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 428

Today, the sprinklers in the hotel room came on and stayed on. There was no fire. My family is currently living in the hotel, so everything we own is soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 917

You deserved it 2 912

Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 248

You deserved it 1 240

Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 545

You deserved it 21 939

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 478

You deserved it 10 216

Same thing different taste

TSA

Revealing

Volcanic eruption

Top comments

Comments