Intimacy: Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out...

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 547

You deserved it 13 105

Intimacy

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By jennyygrace - 11/07/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 604

You deserved it 41 622

TSA

By androgynous - 30/03/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 546

You deserved it 4 751

By sufia - 29/09/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 340

You deserved it 1 164

By Thomas - 20/09/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 241

You deserved it 3 443

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 042

You deserved it 2 083

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 335

You deserved it 961

By Anonymous - 23/07/2010 00:39 - United Kingdom

I agree, your life sucks 40 846

You deserved it 16 869

By ... - 27/11/2008 05:30 - France

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 107

You deserved it 3 877

Mom Jokes FTW

By Embarrassed Daughter - 18/07/2017 08:26 - United States - Erlanger

Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 330

You deserved it 354

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 570

You deserved it 49 751

_insertnamehere_ 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:55

well, they had to make it sure it wouldn't go off at any time...

josface 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:56

Poor kids.

Comments

_insertnamehere_ 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:55

well, they had to make it sure it wouldn't go off at any time...

billyhirvine09 0

Sunday 4 April 2010 15:50

#1 pretty much wins at life

soccrplease 1

Sunday 17 April 2011 1:20

agreed

Herropreez17 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 1:37

TSA horse shit... ITS A PENIS YOU DUMB ****!! ITS ONLY GOING TO EXPLODE IF YOU KEEP RUBBING IT!!!

THEsuperMANLYman 10

Wednesday 23 January 2013 2:20

Atleast u have a big D

fmlAllStar7274 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:56

#1 ftw!!!!!!

breenarae25 0

Monday 20 September 2010 6:42

WTF ur 2, can u count??

changesinme 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 18:47

He was typing it when someone else got to press the comment button faster. I guess you didn't even bother to think before commenting.

KatieKhaos 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 0:18

No, he just said that #1 was awesome, not that he was first, otherwise it would be something like " ZOMG i r first!!!1!!!one!!"

josface 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:56

Poor kids.

GR3453m0nk3y 4

Monday 1 June 2009 0:56

haha that sucks wait... what was turning you on at the AIRPORT!?!?!?

I'madumbass 19

Saturday 25 November 2017 6:59

I would like to know this too. Follow up, anyone?

catacombhome 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:57

At least your erection got some attention. Some people would kill for a monster like yours.... Shame on you for getting upset.

hpodity 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:58

He probably thought it was a dangerous cucumber wrapped in tinfoil

nessa69_fml 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:58

wow.

beaverdogmouse 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:58

HAHAHAHAHAH I LOVE YOU

mohomonopoly 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:58

hahahahahaha :D oh those male penises :)

I'madumbass 19

Saturday 25 November 2017 7:00

Male penises? You saying females are supposed to have them too?

Go_for_it 0

Monday 1 June 2009 1:00

#9, as opposed to what other kind of penises?

Keywords

Harassment Awkward Coffee Love Mental health Weird Miscellaneous Family Anger issues Sex Confused Cheating My ex Work Social Media Facebook Parenting Health Relatable Babies Creepypasta Nice Guys Religion LGBTQIA+ Food Painful Transportation Intimacy Politics Coworkers

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I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 1 052

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You deserved it 930

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 454

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I agree, your life sucks 18 584

You deserved it 1 146

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I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 90

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I agree, your life sucks 38 854

You deserved it 2 755

Today, after buying my girlfriend an expensive gift for her birthday, cooking her breakfast in bed, and treating her all day ending with dinner and cake at her parents, she burst into tears and said the whole day was ruined. Why? I forgot to buy her a birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 123

Today, a guy I met online cancelled meeting me for the second time. The first time was because of work, and this time because of a game. I don't understand why was i even looking forward to meeting him, and I feel like it's all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 139

Same thing different taste

TSA

Volcanic eruption

Mom Jokes FTW

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