Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML
Today, even though I'm overweight, I was feeling alright about the way I looked in the historical costume I'm required to wear by my job. A little kid came in and asked me if I was having a baby. Guess I don't look as good as I thought. FML
Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
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Top comments
JackeeDawn 9
There are only two kinds of real honest people in this world; small children and drunk people.
jackassiddy 8
But isn't that where most people keep their fat? :o
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Comments (139)
person961 9
Gotta admit the truth one day, denial will keep you fat.
perdix 31
"Don't talk to strangers, kid."
FMLKitten 15
"My mommy tells me that too!"
CherryLipBalm 1
Just think of how mortified the mother of the child would have been if you had said that you weren't pregnant... Good thinking, OP.
blahblahblah5_x 13
That should motivate you to get fit?
IAmJad 18
I hope you were taking that bus to the gym.
slimshadyfan123 4
That poor lady. I really felt bad for her, and those damn kids deserve the punishment they got
perdix 31
Well, now that you admitted to us that you are fat, isn't it about time you do something about it?
Xeserx 8
Teehee
Bluekaren16 19
Hey you're not nigahiga!
challan 19
Make it into a positive Op, that child told you what everyone else was too afraid to say. Cut out the soda, fast food, beer and walk instead of ride the bus!!!
EternalHatred 3
That's good motivation to get in shape! I recommend biking. :D