Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got slapped by a date because she thought I was making fun of her speech impediment. I wasn't making fun, I just have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, I went out to dinner. The waiter was pretty cute. He greets us, "Hi my name is... (long pause) Jordan." Thinking he was flirting, I quickly smart back, "Are you confused?" He says, "No actually, I have a stutter." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, at work, I was helping someone who really sounded like she had a Boston accent. So, I asked her where she was from. She has never been out of state. Turns out she has a speech impediment. FML
Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML
Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML
Today, while at a store, my stuttering problem became so bad the poor store clerk had to supply my own words for me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
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Top comments
Syn_fml 0
Wait - blind date at.......Hooters!? You ALMOST deserve it for that alone.
holynemesis1208 3
haha. thats horrible i hope that definately effected her tip in the form of none.
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Comments (65)
MikeRat 0
There's no problem with getting stoned and going to Hooters
Dropbear_fml 0
Blind date, Hooters... hmm not the best of starts right there.
jCleveland 0
hahahah i get so frusturated when people can't understand me with my speech impediment
Truthbringer 0
who takes a blind date to hooters? Not being able to speak is like the 6th thing wrong with you
urkiddingrite 0
hooters- how romantic
knitbitch 0
Hooters; way to make a good first impression.
summer66_fml 0
dont tip her...im a waitress and ive had to serve an old man who couldnt talk along with his friend, an old man who couldnt hear, but i nvr said anything rude......
x0bayby 0
YDI for taking your date to Hooters, dude get some class
rakhil11 7
omg ytf do u ppl focus on the hooters part? seriously... anyway, i'm swy the waitress was an insensitive bitch (although she didn't know...)
Ravenite 0
Who takes a blind date, or any date, to Hooters?!