Intimacy: Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told...

By Anonymous - 19/10/2012 20:54 - Czech Republic - Ceska

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 589

You deserved it 31 843

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/09/2015 13:24 - United States

Today, while enjoying a truly epic move from my wife in the hotel shower, I managed to accidentally pull the "grab bar" from the wall and clock her in the side of the head. Three stitches at the Urgent Care later, she's explaining to the entire waiting room how it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 804

You deserved it 3 473

Consent

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife asked me to smack her ass as a sign of affection, so I did, she liked it, and we had sex. This afternoon I walked past and smacked her ass again. I now have a bruised eye, ringing in my left ear, and a severe warning to never do that again. Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 207

Passionate

By Anonymous - 09/10/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 483

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 301

You deserved it 27 612

By WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 764

You deserved it 5 886

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 858

You deserved it 4 391

Sliced and diced

By Anonymous - 14/09/2020 08:01

Today, our sons, who we thought were asleep, came barging into our room in the middle of the first blowjob my wife has given me in weeks. She was so shocked, she bit down and pulled away at the same time, tearing the big vein on the top of my cock. I had to go to hospital for blood loss and stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 277

You deserved it 240

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 157

You deserved it 6 184

Triggered

By Ouch - 06/10/2025 20:00

Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 177

Nice try

By Well that didn't work - 08/04/2025 06:00 - United States - Edison

Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 497

gc327072 30

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:05

OP's wife used ring slap It's super effective!

TurtleSmile 14

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:13

Sounds like she has been wanting to hit you for some time and was just waiting for permission.

Comments

YoursTru1yXo 0

Sunday 21 October 2012 5:57

*Rough sex make it hurt* let's see if image only one that knows the song....

mowmowlife 21

Sunday 21 October 2012 7:31

"... If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also"

Pwuj 6

Sunday 21 October 2012 14:18

That is awesome,. Lol

firemedic841 11

Sunday 21 October 2012 15:08

"Don't make me strike you with my ring hand."

Sonotsuave 35

Sunday 21 October 2012 21:06

hahahah twenty years of anger taken out on your ass. you KNOW what this is for you bastard!!!

blutigenbonbon 10

Sunday 21 October 2012 21:24

You asked for it.

kevinl12 3

Monday 22 October 2012 17:43

Damn..she likes to party

Saikon1357 25

Monday 22 October 2012 18:29

Who the hell wears jewelry to bed?!

_cynthiaceee 0

Tuesday 23 October 2012 3:08

Ouch

j0nes08 4

Wednesday 24 October 2012 6:28

Did you at least finish ?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I started new meds because I’ve been emotionally numb since I was 14. I never learned how to manage real feelings and I’m on a rollercoaster that involves crying over nothing, feeling jealous of my husband’s Xbox, and getting angry at inanimate objects. Is there a return policy on this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 348

Today, I spent an hour getting ready for my first date of the year, only to wait 30 minutes in the cold and then walking back home by myself. Why didn’t he show up? On his way to our date, he got invited to a threesome and decided to do that instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 253

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 516

You deserved it 5 325

Today, I was teaching a special techniques class for ballet and was focusing on pirouettes. I was teaching a group of 8 year-olds, and one student could do perfect triple turns one after the other. I still can't do them, and I've been dancing for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 236

You deserved it 6 121

Today, my mum, who always wanted more kids than just me, started crying because I'm not pregnant with her first grandchild yet. I'm 16, and this all started because I got my period and I asked to borrow one of her tampons because I'd ran out of my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 271

You deserved it 136

Today, I went into my boss's office to confront her about not consulting me before switching my shifts with someone else. I left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 035

You deserved it 595