Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML
Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML
Today, I mistook a coworker’s laughter for choking and performed the Heimlich maneuver on them in the break room. They weren’t choking, but now they’re afraid to laugh near me. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I went for a jog to enjoy the fall weather. I tripped over a tree root and fell face-first into a pile of leaves. As I tried to get up, a bunch of kids had gathered to laugh, and one even shouted something about, “A grown-ass man playing in the leaves!” FML
Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML
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Top comments
rocketgurl 15
OP: 0 Jogger: 1
Ramos808 29
Karma sucks, doesn't it? Next time, don't make fun of others!
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Comments (149)
PatMcGroin12345 11
It's funny because you're fat .
MrDonSalvetti 27
Only because he was eating french fries it doesn't auomatically mean OP is fat... I love french fries and eat them minimum twice a week and I'm not fat, so your comment is just wrong... Or a joke which was't funny...
teapotrevolt 27
Unbelievably rude much? Because I enjoy fries I'm automatically fat? Pfft.
photographer49 22
#11 not only are you being a dick to OP (not that OP doesn't deserve it) but you are making fun of other overweight people. Not cool.
Brandi_Faith 34
I'm dumbfounded by the amount of "your fat" comments because op was eating fries. The FML wouldn't have been any different if op was eating cucumbers, the only difference would be that idiot commenters wouldn't be calling her fat. Grow up people and get off the fat bashing wagon.
MyUsernameisEpic 29
I guess you can say... the choke is on you.
Nate_moore19 8
BUD UM CH
TallMist 32
Now I'm reminded of that scene at the start of Arkham Asylum.
Ethan_Anonymous 28
Lol
nesteremily 31
Karma is a big fat bitch. YDI
otecasacid 22
Yeah! Let's laugh at people caring about their fitness!
EvilTurtle 35
Actually, she was laughing about the person falling, not exercising.
markotut 10
At least they were forgiving enough to save you!
devildog562 33
While for some reason it always seems people laugh when others fall, it seems only justified you choked. I'm glad you're okay though. How many fries did you inhale to need the Heimlich?
DizzyDreamer90 15
See, this is exactly why our mothers always told us not to talk and/or laugh with food in our mouths..
jamescrazy96 17
Karma is a bitch
SuperDani 27
You deserved it.
j_cat187 20
Nope, you deserved it.
johobus28 26
Believe it or not, there's actually a button that'll convey that exact message.