Health: Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running,... - FML

By teapotrevolt - 02/03/2015 20:40 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 494

You deserved it 54 227

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Same thing different taste

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 155

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 16/03/2011 12:53 - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 185

You deserved it 3 947

By hbt51 - 17/08/2015 19:56 - United States - Blue Ridge

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 012

You deserved it 1 945

Easy mistake

By helper - 01/12/2009 06:15 - Costa Rica

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 668

You deserved it 34 820

By 50sStyle - 12/06/2017 19:00 - United States - Hartland

Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 578

You deserved it 409

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 236

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 962

You deserved it 40 485

By swaiteATC - 28/07/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 313

You deserved it 2 654

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 5 795

By Anonymous - 05/02/2012 15:45 - Reserved

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 884

You deserved it 5 067

Next

Top comments

rocketgurl 15

Monday 2 March 2015 23:33

OP: 0 Jogger: 1

Ramos808 29

Monday 2 March 2015 23:34

Karma sucks, doesn't it? Next time, don't make fun of others!

Comments

PatMcGroin12345 11

Monday 2 March 2015 23:35

It's funny because you're fat .

MrDonSalvetti 27

Tuesday 3 March 2015 0:12

Only because he was eating french fries it doesn't auomatically mean OP is fat... I love french fries and eat them minimum twice a week and I'm not fat, so your comment is just wrong... Or a joke which was't funny...

teapotrevolt 27

Tuesday 3 March 2015 0:13

Unbelievably rude much? Because I enjoy fries I'm automatically fat? Pfft.

photographer49 22

Tuesday 3 March 2015 6:41

#11 not only are you being a dick to OP (not that OP doesn't deserve it) but you are making fun of other overweight people. Not cool.

Brandi_Faith 33

Tuesday 3 March 2015 7:34

I'm dumbfounded by the amount of "your fat" comments because op was eating fries. The FML wouldn't have been any different if op was eating cucumbers, the only difference would be that idiot commenters wouldn't be calling her fat. Grow up people and get off the fat bashing wagon.

MyUsernameisEpic 29

Monday 2 March 2015 23:35

I guess you can say... the choke is on you.

Nate_moore19 8

Tuesday 3 March 2015 0:09

BUD UM CH

TallMist 32

Thursday 23 April 2015 21:22

Now I'm reminded of that scene at the start of Arkham Asylum.

Ethan_Anonymous 28

Monday 2 March 2015 23:36

Lol

nesteremily 31

Monday 2 March 2015 23:36

Karma is a big fat bitch. YDI

otecasacid 22

Monday 2 March 2015 23:37

Yeah! Let's laugh at people caring about their fitness!

EvilTurtle 35

Tuesday 3 March 2015 1:30

Actually, she was laughing about the person falling, not exercising.

markotut 10

Monday 2 March 2015 23:38

At least they were forgiving enough to save you!

devildog562 33

Monday 2 March 2015 23:38

While for some reason it always seems people laugh when others fall, it seems only justified you choked. I'm glad you're okay though. How many fries did you inhale to need the Heimlich?

DizzyDreamer90 15

Monday 2 March 2015 23:43

See, this is exactly why our mothers always told us not to talk and/or laugh with food in our mouths..

jamescrazy96 17

Monday 2 March 2015 23:45

Karma is a bitch

SuperDani 27

Monday 2 March 2015 23:51

You deserved it.

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 3 March 2015 2:01

Nope, you deserved it.

johobus28 26

Tuesday 3 March 2015 7:11

Believe it or not, there's actually a button that'll convey that exact message.

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