Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML
Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML
Today, I mistook a coworker’s laughter for choking and performed the Heimlich maneuver on them in the break room. They weren’t choking, but now they’re afraid to laugh near me. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I went for a jog to enjoy the fall weather. I tripped over a tree root and fell face-first into a pile of leaves. As I tried to get up, a bunch of kids had gathered to laugh, and one even shouted something about, “A grown-ass man playing in the leaves!” FML
Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML
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Top comments
rocketgurl 15
OP: 0 Jogger: 1
Ramos808 29
Karma sucks, doesn't it? Next time, don't make fun of others!
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Comments (149)
Wraven 10
Karma. I saw what you did there!
creativityisnt 19
That's karma in its finest form
goddessa9 12
You sound pathetic, lol
teapotrevolt 27
I'm sorry, did you mean me? In what way do I sound pathetic?
gobiteme2 34
Did they lay you down and have the jogger come over and jump on your stomach.
username356 14
Karma is a bitch.
vlalam 24
karma
Flyndaran 10
Spambots or mindless parrots? Karma is a religious term, not a synonym for you deserved it.
EverythingNerdy 13
You are a terrible, terrible human being.
teapotrevolt 27
No. I'm a human being. That's it. Flawed just as you are. Tell me you've never laughed at someone taking a hit to the family jewels?
thatcoolguy123 14
So you're laughing at a person trying to get in shape while you're over there getting fat. Right...
teapotrevolt 27
Even at comment #76 still not fat.
LittleRed79 39
I'm looking for the "You're a complete douche" button on this one. I already gave OP a YDI, but I still don't feel like that was quite enough.