Today, my boyfriend asked me if I'd help clean out his ex-girlfriend's... - FML

By Questions - 12/5/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I'd help clean out his ex-girlfriend's closet. I found their wedding photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5419

You deserved it

488

Tweet

Share

Vultures

Weird kid

Peaky Bladders

By lookslikeaboyapparently - 19/10/2010 21:23 - United Kingdom

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31463

You deserved it

5961

Tweet

Share

By Oops - 26/9/2011 15:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42758

You deserved it

7787

Tweet

Share

By anal4me - 5/4/2012 20:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23745

You deserved it

3803

Tweet

Share

By Janice - 3/1/2019 12:00

Today, while working as a bank teller, a woman came in with a $100k check. I commented, "Wow, I really could do with one of these!" She responded, "It's a life insurance check. I'd rather have my son back," and teared up in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1873

You deserved it

3646

Tweet

Share

By Gemma - 3/11/2010 11:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a portable speed camera on the highway and braked hard. I caused a 4 car pile-up and my car is totaled. It wasn't a speed camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8136

You deserved it

60470

Tweet

Share

By magicman - 4/7/2012 09:04 - United States

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14108

You deserved it

31291

Tweet

Share

By OhGodWhy - 23/5/2020 08:00

Superstition

Today, my mother told me I must break up with my gorgeous, brilliant, talented, kind, respectful boyfriend of 2 weeks. Why? One of his closest friends died, and he's struggling with his spiritual identity. Apparently, by being with him, I'm walking on 'unholy ground.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

1721

You deserved it

119

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/4/2020 20:00

Cabin fever

Today, my (now ex) boyfriend came home from work at 8 p.m., monologued about how he doesn't love me anymore for two hours, and walked out on me. In the middle of quarantine. Out of nowhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1741

You deserved it

136

Tweet

Share

By TahRah - 28/2/2009 21:58 - United States

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

174798

You deserved it

16089

Tweet

Share

By Claire - 29/9/2010 05:59 - Australia

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

19975

You deserved it

43737

Tweet

Share

By fuckedalready - 3/2/2009 12:40 - United States

Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10257

You deserved it

35882

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/5/2016 16:38 - United States - Astoria

Today, a stranger nearly beat the crap out of my boyfriend for being a pedo. I ended up showing the guy my driving license to prove I'm not a pre-teen and that I'm just freakishly young looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14337

You deserved it

974

Tweet

Share

By Hairball - 10/12/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, my coworker asked to borrow my nail clippers so he could take care of a hangnail. He went to the bathroom, which I thought was polite, but when he got back to his desk and returned my clippers, there were little curly hairs stuck inside. He's bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36479

You deserved it

3142

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/7/2019 04:30

Today, I found out that my husband only dated me because I look like what he thought the daughter he had with his first wife might look like when she's grown up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2175

You deserved it

142

Tweet

Share

By tehhotness - 27/3/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

I agree, your life sucks

102477

You deserved it

6746

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/11/2010 04:05 - United States

Today, I realized I've been driving for almost two years and still get excited when I park between the lines on my first try. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22302

You deserved it

20833

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 00:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47629

You deserved it

5281

Tweet

Share

By bored - 27/11/2012 18:05 - United States

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30264

You deserved it

5634

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/7/2020 17:04

Blender time!

Today, I've told my boyfriend several times that my toothless grandma can only eat pureed foods, but likes any kind of soup, "as long as there's no meat in it." Guess what was his idea of a gift for her when meeting her for the first time? A steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1292

You deserved it

148

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/8/2009 01:02 - United States

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41727

You deserved it

3153

Tweet

Share

By steve - 23/12/2011 03:02 - United States

Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9403

You deserved it

35692

Tweet

Share

By shadowmuppet - 31/3/2017 20:00 - United States - Bronx

Today, I learned the joy of getting a brand new leather jacket and then watching my date drunkenly throw up all over my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4560

You deserved it

540

Tweet

Share

By Beaky - 12/10/2011 05:09 - Canada

Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7080

You deserved it

49790

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/5/2009 13:06 - Canada

Today, I was selected to give my speech to the entire school. I was later told it had to be censored because it was inappropriate, even though I was just trying to make a point. My speech was on political correctness. My speech on political correctness was censored for political reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49881

You deserved it

5074

Tweet

Share

By Jared - 1/1/2009 08:49 - France

Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

22613

You deserved it

9214

Tweet

Share

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38755

You deserved it

5956

Tweet

Share

By alchy - 2/5/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13924

You deserved it

36112

Tweet

Share

By sykotoaster - 13/7/2009 22:09 - United States

Today, I spend two hours inside a bar talking about how I never worry about my boyfriend cheating on me when he travels for work. Everyone told me I was lucky to have such a great relationship. When we all decided to go out on the patio for a smoke, we saw him making out with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61765

You deserved it

10488

Tweet

Share

By LetMeOut - 11/11/2013 18:02 - United States - Richmond

Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50844

You deserved it

4598

Tweet

Share

By CorpDrone - 3/11/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I came in to work and found the conference room white boards completely clean. My assistant wiped all the white boards where I spent 10 hours writing schedule for the next three months. I was going to meet with all supervisors to finalize that schedule today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39474

You deserved it

7033

Tweet

Share

By sihehe - 28/4/2020 05:00

Hide and seek

Today, my cat got diarrhea. My house is under renovation at the moment. I can smell it, but I don't know where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1473

You deserved it

178

Tweet

Share

By gimpy - 23/6/2016 15:00 - United States - Panama City

Today, I was carrying my coffee from the kitchen to the coffee table and couch. Last week I had ACL surgery, so I'm on crutches. Unfortunately, I got the urge to sneeze on my walk to the couch. I didn't make it to the couch before I sneezed and spilled coffee everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11113

You deserved it

1208

Tweet

Share

By Ouch - 10/4/2011 08:55 - Canada

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20829

You deserved it

30629

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 13:30

Today, my sister got fired and I got promoted to her job, got a nice payrise for it. My relationship with my sister will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2506

You deserved it

303

Tweet

Share

By dypshyyt - 22/7/2014 23:20 - United States

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24061

You deserved it

56302

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/10/2010 22:49 - United States

Today, my mother asked my live-in girlfriend if she's had any problems with me peeing the bed. I haven't wet the bed since I was seven and I'd hoped to take that secret to my grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30399

You deserved it

2974

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/11/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47797

You deserved it

7578

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/3/2014 17:31 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43475

You deserved it

3527

Tweet

Share

By adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway - 17/12/2013 15:38 - Netherlands - Leiden

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41261

You deserved it

3613

Tweet

Share

By asianjoe - 11/7/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31734

You deserved it

2770

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By jfsiv | 17

#7453637 - Friday 12 May 2017 20:08

Obviously your boyfriend is an idiot. I would seriously reconsider your relationship with him.

By Regulate | 21

#7453639 - Friday 12 May 2017 20:12

Has he at least cut out pictures of your face and stuck them on hers? Y'know, just to make it even more weird?

COMMENTS

By cakefete2 | 30

#7453633 - Friday 12 May 2017 20:05

I'm sure you meant ex boyfriend right? Keeping something like that a secret is definitely grounds for a break up.

By jfsiv | 17

#7453637 - Friday 12 May 2017 20:08

Obviously your boyfriend is an idiot. I would seriously reconsider your relationship with him.

By Regulate | 21

#7453639 - Friday 12 May 2017 20:12

Has he at least cut out pictures of your face and stuck them on hers? Y'know, just to make it even more weird?

By RichardPencil | 28

#7453645 - Friday 12 May 2017 20:21

So, the way she terminated her "girlfriend" status was by moving to "wife?"

I did not see that one coming!

By squiros | 2

#7453652 - Friday 12 May 2017 20:38

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

rivenrock | 14

#7453907 - Saturday 13 May 2017 9:20

I can't believe you're trying to make someone feel stupid for thinking wedding photos mean a couple were married - the conclusion any reasonable person would come to.

Reply

redrob44 | 2

#7455565 - Tuesday 16 May 2017 9:34

this makes no sense

By RikDog | 8

#7453666 - Friday 12 May 2017 21:14

I'm honestly wondering why you would even help clean the "ex girlfriends" closet in the first place

By Amber Parkey | 6

#7453698 - Friday 12 May 2017 22:16

That's quite a lie, girlfriend and wife are nowhere near the samething. I would definitely do serious asking, that's a big lie, marriage is public record. do some digging if you really want to stay in the relationship, but I would RUN. I'd like to see a follow up. hope all is well

By Amber Parkey | 6

#7453699 - Friday 12 May 2017 22:16

That's quite a lie, girlfriend and wife are nowhere near the samething. I would definitely do serious asking, that's a big lie, marriage is public record. do some digging if you really want to stay in the relationship, but I would RUN. I'd like to see a follow up. hope all is well

By Maurice Bury | 5

#7453866 - Saturday 13 May 2017 8:08

I don't really see any problem. Maybe only that he never told you he was married. I don't know what my girlfriend kept in her closet.

By GalaxyGirl1123_fml | 12

#7454777 - Sunday 14 May 2017 22:32

I see how akward it can be to clean his ex's closet. But girlfriend or wife, it's still an ex.
An official paper is not defining how much you love someone. Why would it be a problem that he knew love before you ?