Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was working as a valet when an old guy came up and wanted us to park his car. He said he had an accident. We looked in the car and saw poop all over the seat. We still had to park the car. FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML
Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML
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Top comments
speshlk37 13
Did that piss you off?
Olivxr 5
That's so gross.
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Comments (89)
whorerhorror 6
hmm. depends
yaitsabovavrage 0
Shoulda peed in the gas tank.
JBTSfan 2
you shouldve whipped it out and pissed all over the entire interior!!!!
madeline1960 0
I almost pissed my pants reading this !! lol sorry
fudawee 4
I work in service as well. I feel your pain. Still funny though.
taetay2010j 0
That's sad for the old man:(( look before u sit hahah
deadandlovingit 0
Did you enjoy the moist warmth? ;D
oops_im_fucked 8
You think I like hitting you old man?!
tpike1296 11
I must know, did it put you in a pissy mood?
shelbyyyy11 0
Why do you think he wants a new car?