Miscellaneous: Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought...

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 658

You deserved it 47 740

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

Surprise!

By Idiot - 26/05/2019 02:00

Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 2 251

HOW VERY DARE YOU?

By Fear of the unflushed…for life, the sentencing. - 10/06/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 1 217

You're barred

By sarahhbear - 17/11/2012 06:42 - United States - Bryan

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 119

You deserved it 3 198

Shouldn't have worn a thong...

By Shouldn'taWornaThong - 10/02/2018 07:00 - United States - Tempe

Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 621

You deserved it 303

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 978

You deserved it 1 801

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 847

You deserved it 3 592

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 336

You deserved it 2 063

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 899

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 475

You deserved it 248

Sorry Pat

By Kronic - 02/07/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 311

You deserved it 48 649

SneakyCaveman 13

Friday 17 August 2012 0:10

Is grabbing your mother's ass a normal thing for you?

Dadothy 8

Friday 17 August 2012 0:10

Even if it was your mom why would you grab her ass?

Comments

mrboomstik 3

Friday 17 August 2012 13:05

What the hell were you thinking? YDI

Ryushia 0

Friday 17 August 2012 13:07

Quite awkward when you say you'd find it funny to grab your own mothers ass..

dogpup4 23

Friday 17 August 2012 13:35

******* idiot. You really deserve it.

XxRose_SparksxX 7

Friday 17 August 2012 13:35

Why would you grab your moms ass?! Milf much??

joeymo304 9

Friday 17 August 2012 13:58

That's wrong either way

RogueWarrior869 23

Friday 17 August 2012 14:41

The hell? Why would you want to grope your mother, even for a scare? All I can guess is either it's a family or cultural thing.

DazedSiren 5

Friday 17 August 2012 15:04

Don't know ur own momma?

xpaulatanx 10

Friday 17 August 2012 15:05

Oh my God, that is creepy and weird as all hell. D: Don't ever come near me.

laden_swallow09 34

Friday 17 August 2012 15:14

Even if it were your mother, incest is frowned upon in most of the US.

felixshen 18

Friday 17 August 2012 15:17

Good luck explaining that one, "Ohhh sorry, I thought you were my mum."

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 589

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I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 84

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 53 717

You deserved it 10 283

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 208

You deserved it 29 086

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I agree, your life sucks 38 334

You deserved it 22 930

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I agree, your life sucks 58 759

You deserved it 2 446

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I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 1 127

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 450

You deserved it 8 857